


Shatterpoint

by thestarwar



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Bodyguard Romance, F/F, Jedi Finn, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-03-05 12:42:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13388031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarwar/pseuds/thestarwar
Summary: Newly knighted Jedi Finn finds himself in the middle of a dangerous plot after saving the life of Senator Poe Dameron.





	1. Tremors

**Author's Note:**

> The title and beginning quote were both inspired by a SW Legends book, Shatterpoint by Matthew Stover.
> 
> This story takes place both before the events of The Phantom Menace and in an alternate universe. 
> 
> If you ever want to discuss Star Wars or have questions or concerns, please hit me up on my tumblr: huttslut.

_“I sometimes can see the weak places in an opponent—shatterpoints where the unbreakable can be broken. They can occur in individuals…and in events_.” -Mace Windu

When explaining the Force, Finn always described it as a tangled web of energy that weaved itself around all living things. It was like a map of interconnected plots, and every plot was like a planet. Each one had their own gravitational pull as they orbited around each other. There were strong points and weak points and points that would glide across the galaxy without ever meeting. Others would collide together. A balance always existed within the map. Sometimes, balls of energy would flicker out, and new ones would blink into existence to replace those that had been lost.

Finn would mourn the loss he could feel through the Force whenever he would meditate, and he would celebrate that which fed new life into the galaxy. Other times, in his mind, he would follow the gossamer strands in the web between two points, trying to analyze the connection. The more distant the points, the weaker his link to them.

Around him in the Senate Office Building were a myriad of connections. He could follow those and feel the traces of emotions coated within the web. Swirling everywhere were feelings of ambition, pride, frustration, guilt, grief, and greed. Those were unsurprising considering his climate. Despite the mass conglomeration of emotions in the building, the corridors were empty.

Finn preferred it that way. He was never a fan of politics and liked politicians even less. They were elected to represent their people, but it was their own interest they fought for upon their delegate platforms. Senators would say one thing and do the opposite. Finn never cared for dishonesty. There was enough pain in the galaxy. At least with the corridors empty, he would not have to deal with any senators. The only reason he was even there was to deliver a message to Chancellor Valorum who had requested Jedi bodyguards to accompany him when he travelled to Corellia on a diplomatic mission, which consisted of negotiating a trade treaty with the Corellian Engineering Corporation. He would be displeased with the Jedi's response.

They found no immediate threats against Chancellor Valorum or any imminent ones on Corellia that justified sending Jedi with him. His existing Senate Guard would have to suffice.

Finn thought it strange that the hallways were deposed of the Guard who were usually patrolling the area. He reached out with the Force, searching for anyone in the building. It would be just his luck for Valorum to be out when Finn had come all this way.

He stopped in his tracks. Beneath the feelings of ambition and greed, Finn could sense something else. It was stronger than anger. It was hate. It was bloodlust. And it was present.

Keeping his hand on the hilt of his lightsaber, Finn crept through the halls. He focused on clearing his mind. These feelings were a growing darkness, and Finn did not want that darkness to sense him. Maybe the chancellor was not growing paranoid, and he was in danger. Finn pushed those thoughts away and rounded the corner. He hurried past the lifts and to the staircase.

There was a pulsing black hole within the web of energy. Finn followed it as fast as he dared himself. He was the only Jedi in the building, and his powers were limited. He had to rely on stealth to protect.

Out of the stairwell on the third floor, Finn could feel tendrils of darkness creeping toward one of the offices. The hallway was still empty. He breathed a sigh of relief: the darkness had not arrived to its destination. Quickly, Finn slipped through the office door on the right wondering where the Senate Guard was.

* * *

 

Senator Poe Dameron of Alderaan ran a hand down his face. Seated at his desk, he had been staring down at the same stack of papers for nearly an hour. It was a lengthy request from the Mining Guild to extract rare resources from Alderaan. Poe snorted. As if he would even consider opening the planet up to mining—let alone opening it to the Mining Guild. Even though they hadn't been officially caught, it was well-known that the Mining Guild used slave labor in their dirty business. They made backdoors negotiations with crime syndicates in the Outer Rim to mine. Poe would not allow them on Alderaan.

Beside his desk, BB-8, the white and orange astromech droid he had programmed, chirped. _Time to go_ , it said, _Poe need food. Poe need sleep._

“Yeah, I probably do, pal.” He had too much paperwork and too little time to rest if the bags under his eyes were any indication.

He stood up from the desk just as a man in dark Jedi robes barreled into his office.

“Are you okay?” the Jedi asked. He was a human with brown skin and a stocky frame beneath the loose-fitting robes. His eyes were alert and burning. Their color reminded Poe of the bark of the chinar trees back home, and his eyes radiated the same warmth that Poe felt when he thought of those trees with their calming scent of spice and fire.

“Fine,” said Poe, “Wh—”

“I'm here to rescue you.”

Before Poe could ask what was happening, the Jedi's fingers were on the door's keypad locking it. He ignited a blazing blue lightsaber. As soon as the door locked, blaster fire erupted on the other side of the door. Poe flew to his desk and pulled out his own blaster from the drawer.

“The door won't hold long,” the Jedi was muttering, “Not designed to withstand a barrage.”

“There's emergency exits,” Poe told him trying to keep his cool. He pushed away assassination thoughts and grabbed his datapad on the desk. He punched his passcode in, and the bookcase against the wall slid sideways to reveal an upward-sloping hallway. “BB-8, keep a path for us.”

The droid rolled forward, its emergency light turned on. The emergency exits were a maze of dark corridors designed to keep pursuers from being able to follow the escaper. Poe followed behind the droid just as a small hole opened up in the main door. The Jedi deflected the blaster blow, lightsaber thrumming with energy, before sprinting after Poe and BB-8.

“What's going on?” asked Poe over his shoulder.

“I'm not sure. If I had to guess, somebody wants you dead.”

“Well, yeah, I'm a senator. Most people want me dead.” It was the nature of politics.

“That's real helpful, Senator.”

“The name's Poe. Poe Dameron.”

“Finn,” the Jedi said.

BB-8 led the way through the maze. Left. Right. Right. Left. Behind them, a storm of footsteps could be heard and a deep voice ordering the others to spread out.

“I don't like running.”

Finn was right on his heels. The sloping corridors were beginning to even out making it easier to run. “You really don't want to stand and fight.”

“What is it?”

Finn didn't answer. Blaster fire erupted behind them and a triumphant shout.

“Found them!”

“Keep going!” Finn shouted, spinning around with his lightsaber held high to deflect the blasts.

Poe stopped and turned around. He hated running. Finn had already saved his skin. He wasn't leaving the other man behind. Aiming, Poe steadied the blaster in his hand and fired. The blast hit the skeletal battle droid, and its wiring caught fire.

Poe whooped. “That's how we do it on Alderaan, you kriffing nerfherder!”

Finn laughed. It was a rich sound deep in his throat like a rumbling echo. The noise seemed to reverberate right down to Poe's dick.

 _Damn it, Dameron. You're running for your life and getting turned on? You have to sort out your priorities_.

BB-8 trilled happily. They were close to the exit. Poe sped up with Finn right behind him. Turning a corner, they reached a door, yanked it open, and entered a flood of afternoon light.

Finn groaned. “Of _course_ , it's an exit that requires transport.”

The door led to a tiny loading dock for a speeder. They were still several floors up from the surface, and now they had no where to run. Around them, Coruscant traffic sped by. No one paid them any mind, standing on the ledge of the escape dock.

“BB-8, can you call us a transpor—”

“We can't hold them off for that long,” said Finn, eyes frantically searching the city.

“What do we do?” From the sound of Finn's voice, though he tried to conceal it, Poe could hear panic. Something else beside battle droids was pursuing them.

“Do you trust me?” Finn asked suddenly.

Poe turned to look at him. His brown eyes that reminded Poe of chinar bark now reminded him of the brown Alderaanian earth. Deep and rich and endless.

“Yes,” Poe breathed out.

Having locked the door behind them and deactivated his lightsaber, Finn pulled out a small grappling hook from his utility belt. Concentrating hard (and probably with the help of the Force, Poe realized), Finn swung the rope and tossed it. It landed on the ledge of the tall building on the other side of the neighboring building. Finn tugged it. The rope held.

“Are you joking?” asked Poe. “We can't swing there.”

Between the Senate Office Building and their destination, besides a dangerous drop, was sporadic traffic. Speeders and transports bulleted past. They would be plowed down, and Poe wasn't sure which was the worse way to die: assassination or vehicular manslaughter.

“Do you trust me?” Finn asked again.

Poe nodded, voice lost. He jumped when he heard blaster fire at the door behind them. There was no returning into the maze.

“Hold onto me,” instructed Finn, “and grab your droid.”

Poe grabbed BB-8 around the middle and threw his other arm across Finn's shoulders, gripping tight. Wrapping a secure arm around Poe's waist, Finn leaped off the transport dock. Poe could see a speeder coming straight at them. There would be a collision.

He closed his eyes, keeping a tight grip on both his droid and Jedi protector. In the crisp Coruscant air, Finn felt warm beside Poe as though he thrummed with the same lively energy as his lightsaber. Poe tried to focus on that comforting warmth. If he was going to die, at least he would die feeling like he was drowning in the sun.

Poe's feet touched the ground. His eyes flew open. Behind them was the Senate Office Building. Finn retracted the grappling hook from the ledge of the tall building in front of them.

“Did you see that?” Poe cheered, laughing.

Adrenaline coursed through his veins. His body vibrated with victory. Without thinking, he threw his arms around Finn's waist and hugged him. “We did it!”

The embrace was quick in the same way an asteroid collision was—an impact that would leave lasting effects upon both of them.

“No time to celebrate.” Finn tugged Poe's arm, and they followed BB-8 through the door that led inside. The droid struggled on the descending staircase.

Finn hailed a transport once they were back outside and on the ground. Poe was disappointed there was a driver. He had a sudden urge to fly. Finn dropped money into the driver's hand, and the speeder took off, shooting toward the Jedi Temple.

* * *

 

Sweat beaded his forehead. Besides failing to deliver to Chancellor Valorum the message at behest of the council, Finn had also failed in identifying the darkness. When he and Poe were in the exit maze, he had felt the tendrils of darkness contaminating the confined corridors. It might have utilized battle droids, but that darkness was alive. Finn felt it. Because of his failure, it was also roaming free.

Not wanting Poe to be wandering around the Temple, Finn led him to his chambers.

“Stay here. I have to report to the council.”

“Stay here? Shouldn’t I go with you to corroborate your story?”

Finn wanted to laugh. As if he could lie to twelve Jedi Masters and get away with it. “Stay here. Please? They’ll want to talk to you to. Until then, please, stay?”

Internally, Finn flinched. All his studies pertaining to persuasive speech, and he couldn’t speak fluently to a senator. There was something distracting about him…. Finn shook that thought from his head unsure where it had come from. He needed a clear mind when he stood in front of the Jedi High Council.

Poe nodded. He would stay put.

Finn turned on his heels to leave.

“Finn?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for saving my life.”

Finn nodded. For a brief second, their eyes locked. “It was the right thing to do.”

He walked the halls knowingly to the chamber where the Jedi High Council convened. They were still in session awaiting Finn's return with any response Chancellor Valorum had. Had it been any other day, Finn might have been annoyed at being used as a messenger boy. While he was new to Knighthood, he was no longer a Padawan. That had to count for something.

The Jedi High Council comprised of twelve members: Yoda, Mace Windu, Oppo Rancisis, Yaddle, Yareal Poof, Saesee Tiin, Depa Billaba, Ki-Adi Mundi, Eeth Koth, Shaak Ti, Adi Gallia, and Plo Koon. They were always an unnerving bunch to stand before, but Mace Windu had trained Finn, so he always had a little more confidence with his master nearby.

He entered the circular chamber. Outside, night had fallen on Coruscant. The light from the buildings and from traffic twinkled. In the distance, Finn could see the bright neon lights of Uscru Entertainment District, one of the lower-level districts of the planet. It was from one of the lower-level districts that the Jedi had found Finn when he was a baby. His parents had abandoned him on the streets—a young baby—with nothing but a name. The name Finn had been carefully stitched on the blanket he was wrapped in. They didn't even give Finn their surname. Had he not been Force-sensitive, Finn knew he would be dead. The Jedi had saved him. He owed them his life.

“Has Chancellor Valorum any complaint with this council's decision?” Mace Windu asked Finn.

“I'm sorry, Master, but I never delivered the message.” Finn then launched into his story about the swelling darkness that had led him to Senator Dameron, their escape from the building, the battle droids that fired at them, and the evil that commanded the droids.

“Where is Senator Dameron now?” Mace asked.

“On the other side of the door,” Plo Koon said with amusement in his voice.

Shaak Ti opened the door with her mind, startling Poe Dameron who was on one knee having what seemed to be heated argument with his droid.

“—did not explicitly promise to stay put,” Poe was saying. The pneumatic hiss of the doors opening startled the senator, and he jumped to his feet.

“Senator Dameron,” Master Yoda greeted him as he stepped into the room. The droid rolled in after him. “Sorry to hear about the attempt on your life, we are. Grave business this is.”

“Yeah.” Poe was warily trying to keep his eyes on all twelve members at once. He only stopped pacing when he bumped into Finn. “Well, that's politics.”

“Looms over you, a shadow does,” said Yoda, “In danger, your life is.”

Poe gave an airy wave of his hand. “I appreciate the concern, but I can take care of myself.” He patted the blaster holstered on his side. BB-8 looked up at him and chirped indignantly. Gently, Poe nudged the droid with his foot and murmured, “Yes, I know. You take care of me, too, buddy.”

“How much longer are you staying on Coruscant?” asked Ki-Adi Mundi.

“In five days, I return to Alderaan.”

“A week to find the assassin,” clarified Ki-Adi Mundi. “I don't like those odds.”

“Finn,” Mace said, “The council would like you to protect Senator Dameron during his remaining days on Coruscant. We will also notify Rey to work with you to uncover this assassination plot.”

“With all due respect, I don't need a bodyguard.”

Depa Billaba spoke up, “You don't believe that your life has value? That you deserve to be saved?”

“What? No, that's—”

“As Jedi,” she continued, “it is our most important duty to preserve life across the galaxy. You are one of those lives, Poe Dameron, so save you, we must.”

Finn tried not to laugh at the flustered look on Poe's face. Depa had been Master Windu's Padawan, too, so Finn had been given personal guidance by the woman. He always suspected she could see into his mind or that she was skilled in reading people.

“You long for acceptance,” Depa told Finn when she first met him, “but the answers you seek are not here. The belonging you seek is elsewhere. The galaxy will have a place for you, Finn. It is there you will find home.”

As a Padawan, Finn had yearned for acceptance and belonging. It wasn't uncommon. Most of his fellow apprentices wanted acceptance. They had no families and no home. The Jedi Order was all they knew, and they wanted to belong. While not necessarily acceptable but not explicitly forbidden, Padawans would search their surnames in the Jedi Archives. There, they would learn of their family and their home worlds. However, Finn had no surname. Neither did his friend who had been knighted with him, Rey. Her Jedi Master, Shaak Ti, revealed Rey had been discovered in a trading outpost on Jakku. Like Finn, though, she knew nothing about her parents.

The council listened to Poe's protests, but ignored them. Mace explained that they would send the message to Chancellor Valorum through someone else along with a message about the attack that happened right under the chancellor's nose. The council was dismissed, and Shaak Ti led Poe away to find him transport home. She knew that was where she would find Rey.

“Finn, I want to talk.”

Finn obeyed and followed beside Master Windu as they walked through the halls of the Jedi Temple. In the Temple, there was calm and serenity along the threads of the Force unlike the deception that flooded the halls of the senatorial offices.

“What you sensed was the Dark Side.”

“I figured as much, Master.”

“I want you to be careful, Finn,” Mace said, “This is dangerous. Darkness does not surrender. It deceives. It hunts for its victims, and when it discovers them, it will stop at nothing to fulfill its objective. Evil such as this, it will pinpoint your weaknesses. It will try to shatter you. You remember our lessons about the nature of the Force?”

Finn nodded. “It is a pool of energy that surrounds us, and we must be careful when we submerge ourselves. If we can't control ourselves, we can drown in it.”

“There is an entropic quality to the Force. We must embrace it with a level head and a sense of control. If we lack such restraint, if we consume too much, then we allow it to consume us.”

“Are you worried I'll be tempted?”

“I'm only warning you to tread carefully. If I were concerned, I would not have given you this assignment.”

Finn stopped and turned to him. “I won't fail you, Master. You're the closest thing I have to a father.”

Mace smiled. However, like all his grins, they were brief. “And you are like a son to me, Finn. I trust you with my life…and as it seems, Senator Dameron's life as well.”

In the lower hangar of the temple, Shaak had found Rey. Having politely shooed away the maintenance crew, Rey was inspecting a speeder herself. Deeming it acceptable for flight, Rey allowed Poe and BB-8 onboard before bustling over to Finn.

“Is it true what Master Ti told me?” Rey asked. “Are there tremors in the Force?”

Finn nodded. He wished he could lie to Rey and assure her everything would be alright, but that was wrong. Still, Finn hated to see his friend panicked. Normally, she would be smiling, and her cheeks would dimple. She would laugh and make Finn laugh in return. It was not a night for normalcy, though.

The two of them climbed into the speeder. While en route to the senator's apartment, Finn filled Rey in on the chase, the meeting with the Jedi Council, and their assigned mission.

* * *

 

By the time they maneuvered through Coruscant traffic, despite the sky lane detours the Jedi Knight Rey knew, it was well past midnight according to the speeder's chronometer. Poe shut himself in his bedroom after giving the two Jedi Knights a brief tour of his apartment.

It was a modest living arrangement. While many senators shelled out money for lavish apartments close to the Senate Rotunda, Poe had wanted something outside the Senate District. It meant a longer commute to sessions, but Poe was now glad for his decision. The further away from the Senate Rotunda he was, the safer he felt. When Poe finished the tour of the living area, the kitchenette, and the veranda, he retired to his bedroom.

Once the door closed, Poe collapsed onto the bed. BB-8 rolled into the charging port and, before entering sleep mode, told Poe it would keep its sensors on in order to frequently scan for lifeforms.

“Happy charging, pal,” Poe murmured.

He closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep quickly. His body ached, and his limbs felt heavy. Still, Poe couldn't sleep. His body was thrumming with energy, and he was restless. Every time he closed his eyes, he felt anxious as though he could feel something approaching him while he waited with baited breath for the mysterious creature.

Abandoning the prospect of sleep, Poe crept out of his room and into the living quarters. On the couch sat Finn. His eyes were closed in deep meditation, but they opened when Poe stepped into the room.

“Couldn't sleep?” he asked knowingly.

“Would you be able to?”

Finn shrugged. “I try not to dwell upon hypotheticals too much. As it stands, I have to stay awake.”

“Want some company?” Not waiting for an answer, Poe took a seat beside Finn.

In the low lights of his apartment, Poe studied Finn. His skin looked soft and smooth, which seemed strange for a Jedi. Poe always thought of Jedi as rough and hardened. Staring at Finn, Poe thought about the stories his mother used to tell him about creatures called Angels living on the moons of Iego.

The legends claimed Iego only had one moon when the planet was born. War ravaged the planet's inhabitants. The living beings on the planet were filled with bloodlust. Death shrouded the planet. Iego's skies turned red, and the ground became barren and uninhabitable. Through it all, mothers would fall to their knees and pray to the moon and beg it to stop the madness.

“Spare our daughters from our grief,” they begged of the moon. “Spare our sons from violence.”

After several nights of prayers and days of endless war, the mother's prayers for a better world were answered. The giant moon fell apart, crumbling into thousands of pieces. Moons were scattered across the skies of Iego, the glowing orbs lighting the planet to shut out the darkness. From the light, celestial beings were born into existence. With the new moons came the Guardians of Iego who were created to spare the planet more grief.

It was not with words or reason that the Guardians ended the bloodshed. It was through their beauty. When men looked upon these celestial creatures, they began to worship them. They named them Angels. In exchange for being able to view the Angels, the Angels quelled the raging hearts of men on Iego.

“Those mothers loved their children enough to break open the moon,” Poe's mother would tell him when she tucked him into bed. “I would do the same for you, my sweet.”

Even though Poe knew now the story was simply a story, he couldn't help but look at Finn and wonder if this was what an Angel was. Surely, men would fall to their knees and worship Finn. Poe wanted to. There was strength in the way Finn held himself, and not simply the physical strength he held in his muscles. There was also warmth and light in Finn's eyes that Poe could not believe was real. If anyone was a celestial being, it was Finn.

Poe almost felt guilty for his thoughts, but he had taken no vows. He was a human being with working eyes, and he could appreciate beauty when he saw it.

“Rey is patrolling the perimeter,” Finn was explaining, “so no one enters and exits this building without her knowledge.”

“Finn, can I ask you a question?”

The Jedi nodded.

“And I want you to promise me honesty.”

“Jedi don't lie.”

Poe snorted. “You don't have to lie to deceive someone. Believe me, I work with schemers and deceivers. I don't want lies or half-truths or some other mynock shit people say to protect someone from reality. Can you promise me that?”

“Yes, Poe.”

“What is after me?”

“I don't know,” answered Finn softly, “It was cloaked in darkness. From what I could tell, it's powerful. For whatever reason, it wants you.”

Poe let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. “C-could it be a Sith?”

“Not likely,” muttered Finn, “but not impossible either.”

“Should I be scared?”

Finn’s eyes met his. “No,” he said, “you don't need to be afraid of anyone or anything while I'm around.”

Nodding, Poe relaxed into the couch. Finn resumed his meditation while Poe sat there basking in the silence and comfort of the Jedi's presence. His mind was jumbled with thoughts of who was behind the assassination attempt and memories of his mother who told him stories about angels and other impossible things. Poe fell asleep, dreaming of a celestial being who rescued him with eyes like chinar trees.


	2. The Art of Flying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For someone working in close conjunction with the Senate, you seem intimidated by politics,” Poe teased. He took a daring step closer to Finn. This close to the Jedi, Poe was amused to discover Finn was slightly taller than him. “Are you scared of me?”
> 
> “Scared of you? Are you going to filibuster me or something?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The three main points-of-view are established here: Finn, Poe, and Rey. Rey/Jessika will also become a prominent pairing; when that happens, I will update the tagged relationships.
> 
> Any feedback or concerns can be left here on the comments or you can dm me on tumblr: huttslut.

_"There is no Emotion, there is Peace._

_There is no Ignorance, there is Knowledge._

_There is no Passion, there is Serenity._

_There is no Chaos, there is Harmony._

_There is no Death, there is the Force."_

-The Jedi Code

With the arrival of dawn, Finn and Rey parted ways. She escorted Poe Dameron to the Senate Rotunda where the delegates would begin the legislature session. Meanwhile Finn returned to the Jedi Temple to gather information that could be pertinent in finding Poe's attacker. If any answers could be found, they would be found in the colossal repository of information the Jedi Archives housed.

As usual, the Archives were silent when Finn seated himself in front of a holoscreen. Jocasta Nu wandered the room, assisting young Padawans researching in preparation of their upcoming missions. Finn hoped he wouldn't need assistance from the matronly Archive Keeper. While she was friendly and willing to lend a hand, Jocasta Nu was a woman who placed too much stock in logic and knowledge. Emotions and even human error were not possibilities in Jocasta's realm of existence. However, Finn had never been able to separate himself from emotions the way the elderly Archive Keeper had. Finn was too human, Master Windu had always told him.

Humanity was riddled with errors and emotions that Jocasta Nu and other Jedi worked hard to quash. Such emotions—fear and passion and love—could be a weakness, so many Jedi nursed these feelings into nonexistence. Finn had never been able to accomplish that. He felt everything in life deeply.

Not knowing where to start, Finn began his research with Alderaan. It was a terrestrial planet and one of the Core Worlds. Alderaan was ruled by the Royal House of Organa who had acquired the throne after a Civil War. Now, the planet was known for its pacifist way of life as well as its beauty and appreciation of the arts. Because of its dedication to preserve the natural beauty of the planet, the Alderaanian government and diplomats refused all requests for company's mining rights. Most recently, the Mining Guild had sent a request to extrapolate resources from the planet's surface.

Finn wondered if greed would drive the Mining Guild to hire an assassin.

That suspicion was short-lived. Even if Senator Dameron was taken out of the equation, Alderaan would elect another delegate to protect the planet's environment. There would be no victory in sight for them.

Finn itched to look up information compiled about Senator Poe Dameron. About his past, his accomplishments, his voting habits, and his personality. However, there was something inside Finn that told him it was wrong to research a person. It was invasive. Finn could gather that same information by interviewing the senator himself. Maybe another Jedi could have scoured records about Poe on the holoscreen, but Finn saw it as nothing more than a betrayal of trust.

Abandoning the holoscreen, Finn stalked the aisles of the Archives to search through old texts. While most of the Archive's texts had been uploaded to the holoscreens, Finn did not want this research on the record lest he incite panic.

Poe's words from last night haunted him. Could it have been a Sith? Finn had felt a darkness plaguing the building. Master Windu warned him it was the Dark Side, but the Dark Side did not necessarily mean the Sith returned. The Dark Side existed with or without the Sith. Still, this was not an average political assassination attempt. Usually those were cloaked in the same deception as the politicians who masterminded them. Average assassination attempts were carried out by bounty hunters.

Finn found a table in the corner to open a heavy tome. On the first page of the book, a code was written:

 _“Peace is a lie. There is only Passion._  
_Through Passion I gain Strength._  
_Through Strength I gain Power._  
_Through Power I gain Victory._  
_Through Victory my chains are Broken._  
_The Force shall free me.”_

Even though they were words, Finn could feel a darkness radiating from that code. It was selfish and consuming compared to the Jedi Code, which emphasized the cyclical nature of the Force in guiding the universe. Within the Jedi Code there was peace and harmony opposed to the Sith Code of chaos and discord.

Finn turned the page in the book, scanning the text for any information regarding the Sith. He read about their origins on Morabrand, Darth Bane, the Sith expansion in the galaxy, and the Jedi-Sith War. Most of this, he learned from Master Windu as a Padawan. The only information in the text that truly troubled Finn was the reminder that the Sith worked in pairs: if there was a master, there had to be an apprentice. If a Sith was after Senator Dameron, then the Sith was not working alone. Finn wondered if Poe knew that.

Mind swirling from the knowledge, Finn left the Jedi Archives and found himself knocking on the door to Master Windu's chambers. He answered immediately and beckoned Finn in. Mace Windu's small quarters were modestly furnished as most Jedi's were: a bed, a wardrobe, and a round meditation chair. While Finn modeled his quarters after his master's, other Jedi added their own personal touch to their rooms. Rey had her chambers filled with small plants she had collected from various planets as well as random mechanical parts she often used to repair the Order’s ships and droids.

“Something troubling you, Finn?” Mace gestured for him to sit.

Finn obeyed. “I think the Sith have returned. I think they're after Senator Dameron.”

His master's face was unreadable. “Have you any theories on why they would want Senator Dameron dead?”

“No,” said Finn, “It makes no sense.”

“Have you spoken to him about these new developments?”

“No.”

Mace nodded. “We will have to tread carefully in this situation. I will update the council on these new developments. Finn, it is imperative now more than ever that we keep Senator Dameron alive. If the Sith do indeed want him dead, then we must foil them. In the mean time, you will have to discuss this with him.”

“Master,” Finn asked, “should the Jedi be worried about a Sith uprising?”

“Not yet,” answered Mace, “There are tremors in the Force, but that doesn’t mean these tremors will grow. As it stands, the Jedi cannot fight a war.”

“Let's hope it doesn't come to that.”

Mace chuckled, “Hope. What a strange feeling to stake our futures on.”

“Hope is all we have,” Finn told him. It was what separated the Jedi from the Sith. Hope could not thrive in darkness. Too long without the light, hope turned to despair and pain.

“Then we must hope you can uncover this plot before it is too late,” Mace said, “and we must hope the Dark Side will be futile in its attempts to seduce you.”

Finn frowned. “You think it will try?”

“You are as much a part of this as Senator Dameron is, Finn. It knows you, and it will seek you out.”

“I won't fail you, Master,” Finn repeated.

Mace patted Finn's shoulder and spoke softly, “If anything should happen to you, Finn, know that it would be my failure—not yours.”

* * *

 

To Rey, the art of flying was a perfect metaphor for using the Force. There was a swirl of emotions within her. Despite those emotions, she still had to reach out and focus on the chaos of the world around her. Eventually the flood of emotions dissipated and she could focus on her task with renewed clarity. Whether it was flying or surrendering to the Force, Rey could work through a flurry of emotions before reaching tranquility.

She was almost disappointed when the speeder arrived at the Senate Building, and she had to park the vehicle. Flying was fun and distracting for Rey.

“We have to meet with Chancellor Valorum,” Rey told Senator Poe Dameron as she clambered out of the speeder.

He helped his chatty astromech droid out of the vehicle. “I'm not the first politician to be attacked, and I won't be the last. I knew the risks when I signed on for the job.”

“Vigilance never hurt,” said Rey leading the way into the building.

Last night, she and Finn had agreed to remain incognito while they were protecting the senator. While out in public, they would dress plainly. They did not want to scare the attacker into hiding by advertising the senator's new Jedi bodyguards. Therefore, Rey had changed out of her traditional robes and into the plain gray garb of an Alderaanian country girl, which consisted of a sleeveless vest, arm wrappings, and a strap she could use to hook her staff into place. Hidden in her staff was her lightsaber.

 _Friend Rey and Friend Finn keep Poe safe_? BB-8 asked.

Rey smiled at the tiny droid. “We sure will.”

While Senator Dameron seemed surly over the presence of Rey and Finn, Rey had to hand it to Poe that he accepted his fate with dignity. He seemed headstrong, yet tactical. Not once did he try to escape from Rey's sight or try to convince her to return to the Jedi Temple.

“The chancellor will blow a gasket when he realizes I was given Jedi bodyguards over him,” Poe muttered to Rey when the two entered the building.

“I hope he blows _two_ gaskets,” Rey whispered back, and Poe snorted.

Chancellor Valorum did not need Jedi to accompany him to Corellia to negotiate a trade deal. In fact, the Jedi weren't even bodyguards. They were keepers of the peace. They were a symbol of hope in the galaxy. They were stories that would be passed on to inspire others.

Rey often thought of her life and adventures within the Jedi Order in terms of stories. She hoped one day, a lost little girl could look to the skies and find hope when she thought of the Jedi. Maybe Rey would even make a name for herself so as to be hope for that little girl. It wasn't fame or recognition Rey wanted; she simply wanted to be a source of comfort to someone the way Finn was a source of comfort to her.

The two had bonded immediately. Among their age cohort, they were the only two younglings who had been abandoned by their parents before the Jedi could find them. Even though Jedi were taken to be trained while they were still babies, the realization that her parents had never wanted her hurt. They had abandoned a baby on Jakku. Had she not been Force-sensitive, she would have been dead.

Sometimes, when Rey really racked her brain, she could see a Wookiee on Jakku, holding a baby in its hairy arms and growling out a low lullaby. She had no idea if that image was real or a fabrication. Was it a memory or a story? Which one did she want it to be?

“Good to see you in one piece, Senator,” Chancellor Valorum greeted them, graciously waving the two of them into his office.

“You know me, Chancellor,” said Poe, “I'm a survivor.”

“And is this the Jedi who rescued you?”

Poe shook his head. “That was Finn. This is Rey.”

Rey bowed. “Your Excellency.”

Valorum offered her a curt nod before taking a seat behind his desk. “How noble of the Jedi to fret over the safety of senators.”

Rey offered him a tight smile in return. “Without politicians, where would the galaxy be?”

 _In a much better place_. Rey was startled to realize it was BB-8 who had chirped out that line.

Poe snickered and gave the droid a thumbs-up, which the droid returned by igniting a small butane lighter.

“Senator,” said Valorum, who clearly did not speak binary, “I did not realize the issue of your safety was a laughing matter?”

Poe sobered up. “No, Your Excellency. But the situation has been exaggerated. I'm capable of protecting myself.”

“This is not a petty plot!” insisted Rey, “Chancellor, there are tremors in the Force. This could be very dangerous.”

“Which is why I hope you uncover the plot quickly,” Valorum said. He sounded somber, but not sincere, and it angered Rey.

How could a man speak so casually of a dangerous situation? How could he regard his senators as disposable? Rey pushed those feelings aside. She often jumped straight to anger, and Master Ti had spent many years of their training helping her resist that urge. Anger was not useful. It was self-destructive.

Anger would not save Senator Dameron or help Finn. Still, it was all Rey had at the moment.

* * *

 

“That could've been worse,” Poe observed to BB-8 when the two exited the Senate Rotunda after the legislature session concluded for that day. “No threats of invasion. That's always refreshing.”

Emboldened by surviving the events of last night, Poe publicly condemned the Mining Guild and its unethical business practices. He was surprised to discover many planets agreed with him: Naboo, Mon Calamari, and Kashyyyk. From the public condemnation, the delegation turned their attention to the Trade Federation's proposal to privatize certain trade routes. The Senate spent the remainder of the session discussing such a move. No agreement was reached.

Coruscant was already cloaking itself in twilight. The last of the sun fell below the horizon, and the light from the orb was replaced by the twinkling cityscape. Light pollution drowned out any visibility of stars in the sky. It made Poe yearn for home.

On Alderaanian nights, the stars were bright and crisp against the velvety black night. On Alderaan, Poe knew the names of the constellations in the sky and the stories behind him. He could remember sitting in the backyard of his family's ranch as a child, sitting in his mother’s lap, and watching her point out the stars and constellations. His heart ached, if only briefly, at that memory. On Coruscant, Poe could hardly pick out the stars in the sky let alone locating a constellation. He felt like a stranger on Coruscant.

“How’s politics?”

Poe looked up to see Finn leaning against the speeder. He had changed out of his Jedi robes and wore a plain loose-fitting white shirt and brown trousers. Poe beamed at the Jedi. “Madness.”

“So the usual?” Finn's smile was toothy.

“For someone working in close conjunction with the Senate, you seem intimidated by politics,” Poe teased. He took a daring step closer to Finn. This close to the Jedi, Poe was amused to discover Finn was slightly taller than him. “Are you scared of me?”

“Scared of you? Are you going to filibuster me or something?”

 _I can think of another activity to do with you that takes hours_ , Poe thought. He then mentally chided himself. Finn was a Jedi. Besides, Poe had been too wrapped up in his duties lately to pursue any type of relationship. It was only the loneliness talking. And Finn's beauty if he was being completely honest with himself.

Instead, he said, “You wouldn't say that if you had seen me filibuster the Trade Federation when they proposed new trading regulations last month.”

“I’m terrified,” joked Finn.

They loaded BB-8 into the speeder. With Finn and Rey now switching shifts, Rey was not available to drive them back to Poe's apartment. Finn climbed into the passenger seat and gestured for Poe to drive.

“I'm not the best at flying,” Finn admitted.

Poe grinned. “Lucky for you. I can fly anything.”

He situated himself in the driver seat and started up the speeder. It whirred to life under his hands. Grabbing the controls, Poe guided the speeder into the air. While his mother had allowed him to sit in her lap while she piloted her A-Wing, Poe had not been allowed to travel into space alone until he was capable of piloting both landspeeders and airspeeders. Poe could remember the old speeder bike he had fixed up and how it had felt to sneak out on the bike and zigzag through the trees of the Isatabith Rainforest. Even when he had crashed the bike, he repaired it and flew again. Flying was in Poe's blood.

Traffic was nearly nonexistent that night, and Poe was able enjoy the crisp night air hitting his face as he maneuvered the vehicle to CoCo Town where he parked it nearby Dex's Diner. It was Poe's favorite eatery in the area, and it was always bereft of politicians, which was refreshing.

As much as Poe loved fighting to better his people and his planet, the game of politics was tiring. It was rife with deception and betrayals, and Poe avoided playing at all cost. As a game, politics was similar to sabacc: the game was tilted in the favor of the establishment at all times and the only way to come out on top was through trickery.

Poe, Finn, and BB-8 entered the diner and were seated by the service droid FLO.

When she rolled away with their beverage and food orders, Finn leaned across the table and muttered, “We need to talk.”

Poe frowned. He didn't think Finn had sounded this serious or concerned since they’d met—not even when they were being chased by unknown assailants. “What's wrong?”

“You were right,” said Finn. He waited for FLO to bring their beverages around and leave before continuing. “It is Sith.”

Poe choked on the Anoat malted he’d ordered, a rich and sweet beverage with a smoky aftertaste (he was once again reminded of the chinar trees back home). “I thought you said that was unlikely!”

“But not impossible!” Finn had ordered a water, which made Poe wonder if the Jedi had ever properly treated himself. FLO returned moments later with their food: two Shawda club sandwiches. “We can talk more about this in private. We have to try and figure out what they could want with you.”

Poe nodded. All of a sudden he found his appetite gone. Actual Sith were hunting him! It made no sense. He poked at the sandwich with a fork.

Noticing this, Finn took a bite of his own sandwich, chewed, and swallowed. He cleared his throat. “The food here tastes good. How'd you find this place?”

“Just a way to get away from the madness of politics.”

“You don't like it?”

“Not all the time,” Poe muttered, “I mean, do you always like being a Jedi?”

Finn shrugged. “It's the only life I've ever known. That's who I am: a Jedi.”

“No it's not, Finn. Yes, you're a Jedi, but that's not who _you_ are. You are… well, you're _you_. You're Finn.”

Finn's smile was soft. “Thanks, Poe.”

“Surely there are aspects of being a Jedi that you don't like,” babbled Poe, “What about not being able to form meaningful relationships?”

Finn smirked. “I’m assuming you're talking about celibacy?”

Once again, Poe choked on his Anoat malted. His face felt hot, so he avoided looking at Finn by pretending to be interested in his sandwich, which he began shoveling into his mouth—manners be damned.

“It's not that we are forbidden from forming connections,” Finn explained, either ignoring or oblivious to Poe's embarrassment. “We're not robots.” In the seat next to Poe, BB-8 beeped indignantly and Finn added a quick “No offense.”

“Then what is it?” Embarrassment aside, Poe found himself interested. Still, he kept his eyes trained on his food.

“Commitment is forbidden,” explained Finn. “After all, love is the death of duty.”

Poe nodded. “And duty is the death of love.”

It explained why Poe had never been able to find commitment and settle down to a comfortable, domestic life on Alderaan. If Jedi were forbidden from falling in love, then senators were forbidden from abandoning their obligations. It was for the best, though. Poe couldn't imagine having someone he loved involved in this tangled mess of assassination plots.

* * *

 

The Jedi and senator finished their meal and returned to Poe's apartment. Finn was glad that Poe was driving; his mind was filled with distractions. He tried to figure out why Sith would be after Poe Dameron—a simple senator from Alderaan. He also couldn't stop thinking about what Poe had asked him in the diner: were there aspects of being a Jedi that Finn didn't like?

No one had ever asked Finn that.

Being a Jedi was his life, and he had never imagined an alternative. In fact, he had grown up feeling indebted to the Jedi for saving him from possible death as an infant. Without the Jedi, Finn would be dead. How could he question the Jedi Order?

There were worse fates in the world. With the Jedi, at least Finn had his autonomy. Watching Poe flying the speeder, he saw a bright light in the other man's eyes as though the stars had made a home within him. Poe's eyes were the color of the city's twinkling lights; they were the color of freedom. Finn had his autonomy, but did he have the freedom that Poe Dameron had? The freedom Poe felt when he was flying. Could Finn have that?

The Jedi Order was all Finn had ever known, yet in two days since meeting Senator Poe Dameron, Finn was now questioning that life. He and Poe were now woven together in the same threads of the Force. Their fates were tied.

It was an age-old mantra: _The Force weaves as the Force wills_. It had now woven Finn and Poe together.

All Finn could do now was keep going. Master Billaba had told him the belonging he sought was elsewhere. That belonging was in front of him. Finn could not look back. If he did that, he was lost. He had to keep moving forward.


	3. Of Death and Duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unsurprisingly, Finn was at the other end. He looked different though, as if he had been stripped of his confidence. It was as if he had been stripped from his exoskeleton and stood before Poe at his most vulnerable. Even his eyes (his beautiful eyes the color of chinar bark and Alderaan soil) seemed sad.

_"The dark is generous, and it is patient. It is the dark that seeds cruelty into justice, that drips contempt into compassion, that poisons love with grains of doubt. The dark can be patient, because the slightest drop of rain will cause those seeds to sprout. The rain will come, and the seeds will sprout, for the dark is the soil in which they grow, and it is the clouds above them, and it waits behind the star that gives them light. The dark’s patience is infinite. Eventually, even stars burn out."_  -Revenge of the Sith Novelization by Matthew Stover

“You have failed,” a grating voice sneered, its owner obscured by the shadows in the room.

Another figure kneeled before the shadowy figure. This one was younger and robed in black, and he kept his eyes trained on the floor, wary of looking into the shadows and seeing a face of disgust and anger.

“What happened was unfortunate,” amended the apprentice, “but there is still time.”

“Time?” snarled the master, “I have waited decades for The Awakening, and you dare lecture me about time?”

As dignified as possible in the wake of failure, the apprentice scrambled to his feet. His face was trained to hide emotion. His very existence was a practice in obfuscation. 

“I will double my efforts,” he said.

“Do not make me regret giving you a second chance.”

* * *

 

Gasping and covered in a thin sheen of sweat, Rey awoke in her chambers in the Jedi Temple. Already, she could feel the dream slipping from her memories. She tried to hold onto the images, but it was like holding onto water in cupped hands; more and more of it trickled away. Rey desperately wanted to talk to Finn, but it was late, and Finn was watching over Senator Dameron for the night. They had started taking shifts, so one of them could stay late and hunt through the Archives. Their searches yielded no results.

Since Finn wasn't an option, Rey slipped out of bed and crept out of her chambers, meandering through the halls to Shaak Ti's quarters. The moment she knocked, the Togruta Jedi Master was opening the door and ushering her inside.

Shaak Ti emanated the calm that Rey desperately needed. The red-skinned Togruta woman was slender and moved fluidly. It was as though she forced her surroundings to adhere to her rather than shifting for her environment. Rey admired that serenity she could never seem to achieve for herself.

“I sensed you,” she explained. “You think so loud, Rey.”

Rey smiled weakly. Even under Shaak Ti's tutelage, she’d had a hard time repressing her emotions. Her anger or her sadness poured out of her like floodwaters for which there was no dam.

“I had a nightmare,” Rey explained and internally flinched. She sounded just like a young scared Padawan who would wake up sobbing over dreams of abandonment. In those dreams, she was always on Jakku watching a starship leave. In those dreams, her crying was always hushed by a shaggy Wookiee. When she awoke, she could never remember what happened to the Wookiee. Part of her feared he had not been real. Another part of her feared the opposite.

“Tell me about your dream.”

“It was darkness.” Despite the warmth of the room, Rey shivered. “There were two men speaking to each other. I-I can't remember much now—my head hurts—but they were speaking of an arrangement. Of something called The Awakening, I think. I'm not sure. It's foggy.” 

Frustrated, Rey rubbed her head as though that would dispel the ache.

Shaak reached over and placed two fingers on either of Rey's temples. Shaak Ti was the most skilled telekinetic and healer of any Jedi Master on the High Council. She had explained to Rey the similarities between the two abilities. Telekinesis involved using the Force to visualize the energies connecting the universe together and manipulating them. Healing was similar—except those energies were within a person. Even though Rey wasn't as skilled as her master, she felt proficient with either ability. However, self-healing was almost impossible for any Jedi, so Shaak's steady fingers on her temples were welcoming bliss.

With Shaak's gentle touch, Rey could feel a sliver of warmth emanate from her master's fingertips and flood her mind. It was as if a silvery mist was masking the black shroud left in her mind from the nightmare. No longer could she feel the aching darkness pulsating in her head. She felt at peace.

Her eyes fluttered open, and Shaak was looking at her with concern. “Rey,” she spoke gently, “are you positive you heard the term ‘The Awakening?’”

“Yes. Of course. Master Ti, what's wrong?”

“Rey, for whatever reason, your dream linked itself to the darkness. I believe what you saw was more than a dream. I could still feel the vestiges of the connection in your mind when I healed your headache.”

“I'm connected to the darkness?” spluttered Rey. “How? Why?”

Shaak laid a hand on Rey's shoulder, squeezing lightly. “It is no fault of yours, Rey. The Dark Side reaches out to many—especially if that darkness is close. It will reach out and latch onto strong passions, and you have those passions, Rey.”

“Master, I try to control my emotions, but—”

Shaak quieted her. “You cannot control your emotions in your sleep, Rey. I know you often dream of Jakku. Of that abandonment and loss. It will take time, but that pain will dull. We are not plagued forever by memories.”

Rey hoped that her master was correct. She did not want to live with painful thoughts and feelings for the rest of her life. She wanted to be free of that, but she was also afraid of losing those feelings of pain. What type of person would she be without that loss?  
“Master? What is The Awakening?”

Shaak's black eyes appeared to glow like smoldering coal. Her voice was a whisper. “The Awakening, it is mostly a legend, Rey. An old Sith ritual.”

“What is the ritual?”

“To most, such information has been lost to time. I suspect now the only ones who know are those trained in the ways of the Sith. All we know is the pain associated with the ritual. It was mentioned once in an ancient text—only in passing—and we could feel the screaming of thousands of souls contained within the word. The screams…and then, the silence. I do not know which was worse.”

Rey's voice shook, but she tried to keep the fear from it. Fear would help no one. “I think this Awakening has to do with Senator Dameron.”

“Contact Finn. Let him know. In the meantime, I will speak to the Council. I believe your protection of the senator should continue after he has left Coruscant. Even on Alderaan, I fear his life is in danger.”

* * *

 

Finn paced around Poe's apartment, staring out the window at the Coruscant skyline. Lights from the towering buildings and traffic winked in the inky black night. The night unsettled Finn. Since the initial attack, there had been no threats made to Poe's life, which didn't make sense. Everything outside seemed to calm. Finn would have felt more confident if Rey was there, but they had agreed to split their time between the Jedi Temple and Poe's apartment.

“Finn?” Rey's voice crackled over the commlink.

Finn's hand flew to his utility belt, and he fished the device out. “Rey, is everything okay?”

At the desk in the corner of the room, Poe stilled briefly from his work; he was bent over a pile of papers, scribbling furiously. Several times BB-8 had nudged Poe's leg, but each time the man gently shushed the droid and assured it he would go to sleep soon.

Not wanting to disturb Poe's concentration, Finn lowered his voice. “Rey, what's going on?”

“I had a dream, Finn.” Rey's voice trembled. “H-have you ever heard of The Awakening?”

“The Awakening? What's that?”

“I'm not sure,” said Rey, “Master Ti says it is an ancient Sith ritual lost to time, yet it echoes with memories of pain. Whatever it is, I believe it is the reason the Sith want Senator Dameron.”

Finn could feel the resounding heartbeats in his chest. It was like the drum that often precedes an execution on many planets. “They want him for a ritual? What does this mean?”

“It means we will be going to Alderaan.” The slight quiver in Rey's voice was interrupted by a hearty yawn. “Finn, promise me you won't do anything reckless.”

“That's your job, Rey,” Finn chuckled.

Rey laughed too, and Finn could picture his friend's dimpled cheeks and toothy grin. He thought of the way her face flushed pink from laughing too hard. Finn longed for that happiness again. Things had been much simpler and less dangerous.

The commlink fell silent, and Finn placed it back into his utility belt, trying to remember the Sith book he looked at in the Jedi Archives. He couldn't recall a single mention of a ritual known as The Awakening, and he couldn't fathom where else to look for the information if the Archives didn't have it. There were no renown Sith scholars he could casually call. It was another dead-end. Ever since running through that maze with Poe Dameron, Finn felt as though his life was hitting more and more of these dead-ends.

“You're not coming to Alderaan.”

Finn had almost forgotten Poe was still in the room. He turned to see the man had abandoned his work. BB-8 lolled on the ground by his feet.

“It's for your protection,” Finn explained.

“Absolutely not!” Poe crossed the room to stand in front of Finn. At an initial glance, Finn thought he could see a raging fire in Poe's eyes. Fiery anger. Then Finn saw it, saw the spark flickering. It was fear.

“Poe, your life is in danger.”

“I don't want any of this. I don't need any protection.”

Against his better judgement, Finn snorted, “Because you could handle a Sith lord.”

“What makes you think that either of you can?” Frustrated, Poe ran a hand through his hair, mussing the curls up. “You both could die.”

“If that is my duty—”

“Don't give me that mynock shit. You do not have to march to your death for the sake of a mission.”

“The Jedi Order saved my life. If I have to give it up, I would gladly do so for them.”

Poe made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, reached out his hands as if to grab for Finn, changed his mind, and retreated into his sleeping chambers. BB-8 rolled dutifully after him.

Collapsing onto the sofa, Finn buried his face into his hands. He knew Poe hadn't wanted Jedi protection, which Finn had chalked up to the senator wanting to preserve his privacy and freedom. Now, Finn wondered if it was something else. He couldn't get the image of Poe's eyes from his mind and the fear that flickered in them.

He could always request to be removed from this mission and replaced with another Jedi Knight, but Finn didn't want to leave Rey. He had never abandoned her before, and he was not going to start now—especially with such tremors in the Force. Rey, herself, would never abandon a mission. She longed for purpose in her life, and this was one of the greatest purposes the Jedi Order could give her: protecting another's life.

It baffled Finn why Poe would not accept such protection for himself. Had Master Billaba been right? Did Poe Dameron not believe he deserved to be saved? Or did he not want Finn around? Finn had thought they got along pretty well together. They had fought together, talked with each other, and eaten together.

Finn had never met someone like Poe Dameron before. Poe exuded an aura of confidence, strength, and warmth. When Finn was around Poe, he didn't fret over the tangled web weaved by the Force. When he was around Poe, he was able to focus on the present. Around Poe, Finn was always acutely aware of his surroundings.

Soft beeps pulled him from his reverie. He looked down to see BB-8 nudging his leg.

“What's going on, BB-8?” Finn asked. He was only being polite; he couldn't speak binary. Rey was the gifted linguist between the two of them.

BB-8 chattered to him before backing up and projecting the blue glow of a hologram in the room. The hologram flickered for a second before assuming the shape of a human wearing fine Alderaanian robes. He had a mop of dark hair and a pointed face, and he introduced himself as Wedge Antilles, Director of Alderaan Communications. The announcement was dated twenty-six years ago (Finn hadn't even been born).

“The Alderaan Civil War has ended. The usurpers have surrendered, and Princess Leia Organa has reclaimed the throne as the rightful heir—daughter of Queen Breha Organa and her husband Bail. While the transition of power was mostly peaceful, we must pay our respects to those who sacrificed themselves for Princess Leia.” Wedge read off a list of names, which BB-8 suddenly skipped through before resuming the hologram once again. Wedge was still listing the names of the dead: “—mus Antilles, the captain of the princess' personal ship. Shara Bey, beloved wife to Kes Dameron and mother to one son, Poe Dameron. She was a lieutenant for the Royal Navy. Without her piloting skills and sacrifice, Princess Leia would never have made it to the planet's surface to reclaim her birthright.”

The hologram shuddered into nonexistence at BB-8's command. Finn didn't even look over at the droid, his eyes glued to where Director of Communications Wedge Antilles had been, listing off the casualties from the Alderaan Civil War.

While in the Jedi Archives, Finn read about the war. Queen Breha Organa and Bail Organa's ship had been blown to pieces while the two were on a diplomatic visit. When the news reached Alderaan, the House of Tarkin seized the opportunity to take the throne from nineteen-year-old Princess Leia Organa. Luckily, the princess escaped the planet with her life and was forced to lay low while she gathered allies and resources to help reclaim the throne.

It hadn't even occurred to Finn that the war happened in Poe's lifetime. Finn could feel his heart ache, and he heard Master Windu's voice in his head,  _“You feel everything too deep, Finn.”_

* * *

 

 _Poe sad_ , BB-8 observed when it rolled back into the room.

“Nah, I'm fine, buddy,” Poe murmured, raising his head from the pillow to watch the droid trundle over to its charging port. The port was nearby the bed, so Poe reached his hand out to pat BB-8's head, rubbing the smooth stainless inoxium that plated the astromech droid. “You best get to charging. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

 _Poe sleep_ , BB-8 chirped.

“I will. I promise. Happy beeps, buddy.”

Satisfied, BB-8 powered down into charging mode. Poe continued petting the droid's head. BB-8 was his most loyal friend. He had found the droid as little more than a shell, a BB unit who had been tossed out by owners who had upgraded to a new model of astromech droids. Poe then spent the fourteenth year of his life rebuilding the droid and programming him. From the first moment the droid whirred to life, Poe loved BB-8.

Their relationship had come about naturally. When programming the droid, Poe made sure to remove the servitude software that forced droids to address their owners as masters. Poe did not want forced loyalty. Instead, he developed a program for BB-8 that would allow the droid to adapt. Through experiences, BB-8 adapted and gave Poe its unconditional loyalty. Poe learned binary to communicate with BB-8, spent hours updating the droid, and gave the droid frequent oil baths. Wherever Poe went, so did BB-8.

A knock at the door interrupted Poe.

He wanted to sulk or pretend to be asleep, but that wouldn't be the honorable thing to do. Kes Dameron and Shara Bey raised their son to be an honorable man, and he wasn't about to abandon such principles now. Honor had propelled him to represent his planet and his people. It was practically in his blood. Pulling a shirt on, Poe crossed to the door and opened it.

Unsurprisingly, Finn was at the other end. He looked different though, as if he had been stripped of his confidence. It was as if he had been stripped from his exoskeleton and stood before Poe at his most vulnerable. Even his eyes (his beautiful eyes the color of chinar bark and Alderaan soil) seemed sad.

“I'm sorry,” Finn whispered. He was fiddling with the hem of his tunic. “BB-8 showed me.”

 _Traitor_ , Poe thought, but it was in adoration. BB-8 was like a mischievous child, and it touched Poe to know the droid had gone out of its way to cheer Poe up by sharing with Finn what Poe found too hard to speak of.

“You don't need to apologize.”

“I do. I'm sorry for all that talk about death and duty. I had no idea your own mother sacrificed herself for duty.”

Poe ruffled his hair again. “Yeah, well…now you can see why I don't want Jedi bodyguards.”

“But you need them,” insisted Finn, “Poe, let me protect you.”

Poe tugged a strand of his hair in frustration. “No. I can't do it. I'm not like the queen. I don't have her strength. I can't do it, Finn. I can't have people die for me.”

“Do you resent Queen Organa?” asked Finn.

“Of course not!” exclaimed Poe. The queen had always been so good to him. She treated Poe like a son sometimes. She was the only reason he accepted the position as senator. “She had a worthy cause. A cause people believed in. My mother always told me that the galaxy was a fundamentally good place—even in dark times. That there were good people in the galaxy. Queen Organa is one of those people. People like her, they make the galaxy good. They make it worth fighting for.” He didn't say the obvious: fighting demands sacrifice.

“Poe.” Finn reached out and laid his hands on Poe's shoulders, grounding him. Poe marveled at the strength and gentleness contained in Finn's hands. The two of them locked eyes. Poe thought he could faintly smell spice and fire. “We all make choices in life. Choices about life and death. Choices about who to live for and who to die for. There are so many paths we can take; the Force lays out so many options for us. I chose mine the moment I decided to save you.”

Poe shook his head. “Finn, I don't want anyone to die because of me.”

“No one is going to die, Poe. I promise.”

Poe blinked tears from his eyes, refusing to let them fall. He didn't want Finn to think he was scared or weak—not when Finn himself was brave and strong and resilient. “Are Jedi allowed to promise?” asked Poe, forcing out a chuckle. “Isn't that a form of attachment?”

Finn's smile was as bright as the reflection of the sun on the snow-capped mountains from home. “For you, Poe, I'll break the rules.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for your feedback and comments. To contact me, you can always find my tumblr: huttslutt
> 
> Note: The Alderaan Civil War was inspired by Star Wars Legends and adapted for the story.


	4. Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe was lost, wrapped up in Finn's voice and the raw emotions in it. How honest Finn was. Surrounded by politicians and their schemes, Poe sometimes forgot truth existed in human nature. He had always thought of Jedi as enigmatic beings, but Finn was anything but. He was honest and implicitly good, and it made Poe’s heart ache with longing.

_"Vaapad is as aggressive and powerful as its namesake, but its power comes at great risk: immersion in Vaapad opens the gates that restrain one's inner darkness. To use Vaapad, a Jedi must allow himself to enjoy the fight; he must give himself over to the thrill of battle. The rush of winning. Vaapad is a path that leads through the penumbra of the dark side…."_ -Mace Windu

The rest of the week passed in an uneventful manner, meaning there had been no more assassination attempts to foil. Both Finn and Rey were on edge, having been sure the attackers would strike while Poe was still on Coruscant. To avoid any possible attack during their departure, the two Jedi insisted that Poe's ship dock at the Jedi Temple hangar. At the Temple, Finn could be sure there was no trap.

Early mornings on Coruscant were painted a dull gray that matched the hangar. Clouds masked the sun and cast a gloomy glow down to the city. Coruscant was Finn's home, but sometimes he hated the planet. It was colorless and covered in steel. Finn understood why Rey collected plants in her chambers. The last time he had seen natural beauty had been on a mission to Felucia as a Padawan.

The mission was headed by Master Windu and Master Ti; the Jedi were called to help the planet's inhabitants stave off invaders who wanted the riches that the native healing plant nysillin would bring them. Nysillin was vital to the planet's economy, so the Jedi answered the summons to keep the peace and maintain economic prosperity.

Immersed in memories, Finn turned to Rey. The council was speaking to Poe Dameron, so the two could do nothing but wait in the hangar. “Remember Felucia?”

“How could I forget? I had to rescue you from that jungle rancor.”

Finn rolled his eyes. “You and I remember Felucia very differently.”

“I saved you!” insisted Rey.

“We both ran for our lives!” laughed Finn.

“Yes, but I had to tug you along. Without me, you would've been rancor dinner.”

Finn could remember the way Rey's hand felt in his. They were both slick with sweat from the humid jungle air and from the running. Rey steered them through the throng of trees with ease as though she were guiding a speeder. Finn followed; he would follow behind Rey no matter where she went.

Poe entered the hangar, flanked by Mace Windu and Shaak Ti who were there to see Finn and Rey off. Poe was dressed casually (as opposed to the white senatorial garb traditional to Alderaan that he usually wore) with his brown leather jacket, loose-fitting trousers, and black boots. He had a gun holstered on his hip.

"I want daily updates from you.” Mace Windu approached Finn while Shaak Ti pulled Rey off to the side. “If I hear anything suspicious, I will dispatch backup to Alderaan immediately. In the meantime, I will see what I can find concerning this Awakening.”

“I will protect Senator Dameron with my life,” promised Finn.

Mace's smile was taut. “I hope it does not come to that, Finn.”

An engine roared overhead, and they turned to see a sleek white Corellian corvette enter the hangar and locate a landing dock. It was a larger ship than Finn had imagined, but he was glad to see the ship was not designed purely for aesthetic: it was equipped with laser cannons and turbolasers. He also noted the escape pods.

Finn heard Rey give a low whistle at the ship.

“Finn, remember our teachings,” Mace said, “May the Force be with you.”

Finn echoed back the sentiment, and his master turned on his heel, leaving the hangar with Shaak Ti in tow. For the first time since being knighted, Finn truly felt on his own. This would be his first solo mission. He was glad he could share it with Rey.

The ship docked, its landing ramp descended. From the ship strolled five of the crewmembers. BB-8 chirped happily and flew to the crowd. Poe followed after his droid to make the introductions. The captain of the ship was a female human with long dark hair: Captain Jessika Pava. The human male was the co-pilot Temmin “Snap” Wexley. The human female with short blonde hair was Karé Kun who was the _Tantive IV_ 's security officer. The engineer and flight technician was an Abednedo with mottled brown skin named Oddy Muva. The ship's bosun was a male Duros named L'ulo L'ampar. The rest of the _Tantive IV_ crew were inside the ship, preparing for the journey to Alderaan.

Rey trailed after Captain Pava and Oddy Muva for a tour of the ship.

“What did you do this time to get a death threat, Dameron?” Snap asked.

Poe rolled his eyes, but Finn saw the corners of his mouth quirk upwards. “You know me, Snap. ‘Aggressive Negotiations' is my middle name.”

Snap guffawed. “And here I thought, when we were younger, you'd die in a crash, flyboy. Now, I have to worry you’ll be shot at over environmental regulations or who knows what fragging else!”

“Calm down, Wexley,” said Karé, “There’s still time for Poe to die in a crash. ‘Reckless Flyboy’ is his other middle name.”

“If I didn't know better, I'd say you guys are really hoping for my death,” Poe laughed.

“As your friends, we only want the best death for you,” Karé said solemnly.

Snap nodded. “Friends don't let friends die in embarrassing ways. Like the poor fool who suffocated after being sat on by a Hutt. Or the guy who was found dead in a tauntaun's stomach—poor laserbrain's friend tried to save him from hypothermia, went to get help, but the tauntaun's fat crushed the moof-milker.”

“Rumors,” chided L'ulo. “Those are only rumors.”

“I promise I will stay out of range of Hutt butts,” said Poe, completely serious.

“If you don't board soon, you'll need to stay out of range from Jessika,” Snap warned, “She has the temper of a Hutt.”

BB-8 led the way rolling up the ramp. Finn hurried to Snap's side to ask the co-pilot about the ship's defense mechanisms. No doubt Rey was interrogating Jessika in a similar fashion, but Finn wanted to err on the safe side. Flying was outside his comfort zone, and he didn't want to feel even more useless.

Poe and Karé followed after them, and Finn swore he heard her mutter to Poe, “That's your Jedi protector? Kriff, I'm surprised you haven't faked blasterfire to trick him into crawling on top of you under the guise of protection.”

“Karé!” hissed Poe.

“What? That's what I would do….”

* * *

 

“A CR90…,” gushed Rey, running her hand across the white paneling of the _Tantive IV_ as she followed Jessika back to the ship's bridge.

“It's a consular ship,” said Jessika, “otherwise I'd show you what this baby is capable of.”

“That's a shame. The Jedi starfighters definitely have some kick to them, but I'd like to see this in action. Probably doesn't have the maneuverability of the fighters, but her speed—.”

“—she was built for speed,” Jessika affirmed. “No one buys a Corellian corvette to take the scenic routes.”

Throughout the tour, Rey babbled incessantly about the capabilities of the starship and interrogated Captain Pava with technical questions about the ship's weapons, its engines, its defenses, and its hyperdrive. Ships constructed by the Corellian Engineering Corporation were unparalleled in the galaxy, and Rey was impressed. She rarely was able to “talk shop” with anyone at the Temple because there were few ship enthusiasts. Aside from the Temple's hired mechanics, Rey had no one to discuss the subject with. Finn absolutely hated flying. While he'd passed the required Jedi Flight Training, Finn avoided piloting when possible. He excelled better in other areas such as hand-to-hand combat, lightsaber combat, and pathfinding.

Even with Finn's discomfort with flying, Rey was still glad to have him on board. As a skilled pathfinder, Finn naturally knew how to find necessary escape routes. If push came to shove while protecting the senator, they would need Finn's expertise. He had already helped the senator escape with his life once.

“I hope we won't need to see her in action,” muttered Rey.

Jessika laughed. It was a tinkling laugh with a musical quality to it that reminded Rey of Bith music.

“We won't—not if I can help it. Poe would never let me live it down.”

“You two are close?”

“We went to the Alderaan Flight Academy together,” Jessika said, “Then we were in the same squadron in the Royal Navy. Poe worked his way up to commander. But the moment the queen asked him to run for senator, he left. It was an easy win for him. He was Alderaan's poster boy: talented pilot, capable leader, charming—don’t ever let him know I said any of this, though.”

Rey grinned. “Your secret is safe with me.”

Jessika nodded. “Though, I guess his opponent made it easier for the people of Alderaan to vote for Poe. He was a nightmare.”

“Who was it?”

“I think his name was Hux? He was a fanatic. Very extremist. Very critical of the Crown.”

“Did he ever threaten Senator Dameron?” asked Rey.

“No. After the election, he faded away. Every so often, he posts something on the holonet criticizing the queen.” Jessika shrugged nonchalantly. “He was ambitious, but didn't seem vengeful.”

As the two women entered the bridge, Rey made a mental note to tell Finn about this Hux, so they could research him. If he was an extremist, it might be possible that he enlisted powers beyond his knowledge to enact his revenge. Snap Wexley was already in the co-pilot seat punching in coordinates to prepare them for the journey.

“The quickest and most direct route is Hydian Way,” Snap announced.

“Sounds good,” Jessika said with a nod and slid into the captain's seat.

Rey marveled at the other woman's graceful movements. She looked like she was born to fly. Jessika pulled her curtain of dark hair behind her head and tied it before pulling out her captain's log to note their departure time. With her hair pulled back, Rey could better see the captain's angular face, her high cheekbones, and the petal shape of her lips. Jessika looked over at her, and Rey quickly averted her eyes.

As a young Padawan, Rey had been caught by Shaak Ti several times kissing cute girls in the alcoves of the Jedi Temple, which prompted her master to lecture her about the forbidden nature of attachment. While celibacy was not a requirement to become a Jedi, unchecked lust was not an option either. Most Jedi found it difficult to balance the two extremes and simply chose to forego any relationships at all. Master Ti always let Rey make her own decisions: she knew Rey was too headstrong to simply order around. Rey respected her master, but she did not take kindly to being ordered around by anyone.

After that talk, Rey stopped kissing her pretty Padawan friend Rose Tico. Rose was exuberant and friendly and an easy person to get attached to. Rey couldn't risk it. She dwelled too often on being abandoned on Jakku, and she didn't want Rose to have to feel that pain too.

“We are taking off now,” Jessika’s voice pulled Rey from her memories of Rose Tico.

The _Tantive IV_ shot away from the Jedi Temple and left the Coruscant atmosphere. Already, Rey felt homesick.

* * *

 

Time crawled slowly in space. It was a comforting change from the fast pace of politics that Poe was accustomed to on Coruscant. That was another benefit of flying: it was the very definition of freedom. Freedom from responsibilities, from the rigorous demands of his job, from the deceptions, and from time itself. In space, Poe always felt as though he was on another plane of existence; unfortunately, for this journey, he didn't have the control that came with flying. Even though he itched to be on the bridge flying the ship, he knew this was Jessika's flight.

To tamper his desire, Poe led Finn and BB-8 to the captain's quarters.

“Jessika is letting us use her quarters for the journey,” Poe explained to Finn, “It's roomier.”

They entered the spacious quarters. Like the rest of the ship, it was a dazzling white color. The room was moderately furnished with a bed, a sofa, a desk, a shelf filled with books, and holographic Dejarik table. A small refresher was attached to the room. Usually when Poe was a passenger on the _Tantive IV_ , he occupied the diplomat quarters. The room was much smaller than this, since it had a small conference room attached where Poe would spend the majority of his time in meetings. At least this journey would afford him some peace and quiet.

He flopped onto the bed, leaning back on his elbows, and looked over at Finn who was standing awkwardly near the door as though unsure what to do with himself. Like Rey, Finn was also dressed casually in plain Alderaanian garb: a loose-fitting white shirt and brown trousers. Poe noticed Finn had his arms wrapped around himself.

Poe frowned. “You’re cold.”

“Haven't been in space in a while,” admitted Finn with a shrug.

Without thinking, Poe sat up and peeled off his brown leather jacket and tossed it to Finn. “Here. Take this.”

“You'll be cold.”

“Nah, I’m used to this.” Poe did feel the slight chill in the air that accompanied space travel, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was a refreshing change from the warmth on Coruscant, which was primarily caused pollution. Besides, Poe had grown up on Alderaan with the planet’s cool mountain air.

As soon as Finn slipped the jacket on, Poe regretted it. Finn looked damn good in his jacket. His broad shoulders filled it out better than Poe's. Poe bit his lip. There was something about seeing the Jedi wearing his clothes…. He couldn't explain it, but he knew he needed a quick cold rinse soon. He also needed a distraction.

“Maybe I should request different protection,” he joked lamely, “Seems my current protector can’t even dress himself properly.”

Finn laughed, “If I'm being honest, I feel a bit out of place without the robes.”

“Aren't the robes a hazard in battle?”

“Usually we take them off for any combat.”

Internally, Poe groaned. The image of Finn stripping off his robes entered his mind. He enjoyed the man's company, and he obviously wasn't blind (Finn was kriffing gorgeous), but Poe needed to get his intrusive thoughts under control. Finn was doing his duty and protecting Poe, whether Poe wanted that protection or not. He didn't want to complicate their situation more by lusting after the Jedi.

He chalked it up to loneliness. He never had time for relationships, and now he was just letting his mind wander. It was only natural for it to wander to Finn. Besides the Jedi's attractiveness, he was also easy to talk to. Poe had grown comfortable with his company.

“Your wardrobe budget must be astronomical,” said Poe.

He liked hearing Finn laugh. It was deep husky sound that reminded Poe of the thrumming engine of his X-Wing back home.

“I hope you don't petition the Senate to shrink our budget now,” said Finn, a teasing edge to his voice.

Poe snorted, “You overestimate our abilities to negotiate—especially when money is concerned. Sometimes, I think our democracy has been bought and paid for.”

Finn frowned, his brows knitted together in concern. Carefully, he took a seat at the edge of the bed. “Then why keep fighting if you've lost hope?”

Poe shrugged. “I can't abandon my people. Besides, my mom always told me the galaxy was a good place. I want to fight for that ideal. I don't even know if it exists, but it's something I believe in.”

“That’s not much different than the Jedi placing our trust in the Force,” said Finn softly, “People are skeptics about it. About the idea that there's a power controlling the galaxy. People who ask why we would believe in a power that allows for such bad things to happen sometimes. It's hard to accept that the nature of life is a balancing act. Without pain, I don't think we would understand happiness or love. Without death, we wouldn't be able to appreciate life.”

Poe was lost, wrapped up in Finn's voice and the raw emotions in it. How honest Finn was. Surrounded by politicians and their schemes, Poe sometimes forgot truth existed in human nature. He had always thought of Jedi as enigmatic beings, but Finn was anything but. He was honest and implicitly good, and it made Poe’s heart ache with longing.

Finn cleared his throat as though he didn't know what else to do about the new silence that hung between them. “Sorry. My master says I feel too deeply sometimes.”

“What's wrong with that?” It seemed a crime to repress what were such honest and beautiful emotions from Finn.

“Passion can be dangerous. Surrendering to such a raw, untamed emotion can lead you down a dark path.”

“So you repress it?”

“Balance,” said Finn, “Being a Jedi is about balance and moderation.”

Poe couldn't imagine going through life and having to exercise excessive moderation in everything he did. It would drive him mad. To him, it seemed a crime for the Jedi to take children into that life. None of them chose that life, but they were expected to follow the code of conduct without questions or doubts. He knew he couldn't say that to Finn, though. The Jedi were all he'd ever known, and he had told Poe that the Jedi saved his life.

Life was about choices, though, and Poe wondered if Finn had ever been able to make any.

* * *

 

Finn was back at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, a Padawan once again. He stood in front of Master Windu in the Combat Training Chamber, a large bowl-shaped chamber cloaked in white. The two stood on the lower-level, facing each other with their lightsabers ignited.

“Vaapad is not just a fighting style, Finn,” Master Windu said, “It is a state of mind in a fight. It is about being able to absorb the fury and anger and darkness from your opponent and use it against them.”

“Can you channel darkness,” Finn asked, “without succumbing to it?”

“It's a balancing act. It takes practice. You have to bring yourself to the brink of that darkness and be able to pull away and keep a clear head in order to redirect those energies,” explained his master, “I won't lie, Finn. It is a dangerous form to master. I wouldn't teach it to you if I didn't think you were strong enough.”

Mace fell into an offensive position, holding his purple lightsaber at the ready. “I am going to come at you. I want you to find that weakness and turn it against me.”

Finn nodded, falling into a defensive stance and tightening his grip on his blue lightsaber. In a flash, his master lunged at him, arcing his lightsaber down. Finn deflected it. He thought he could feel a wild madness thrumming from the purple lightsaber. Finn mimicked that feeling, allowing his jabs to be more erratic. He gave himself over to that feeling and found himself skirting around his master with quick strikes.

Mace expertly parried all his strikes, but he was smiling. “You felt the chaos, and you allowed it to control you. The hardest part will be knowing when to let go of that chaos.”

Sweat glistened on Finn's forehead. His body thrummed with energy. He felt fluid and formless. It was as if his lightsaber was controlling his movements while he rapidly dashed around his master, their sabers clashing in a frantic dance. Their movements fed off each other. Finn could feel a maelstrom in the air around them, building up into a climax of raw emotions.

Finn's vision began to blur as he succumbed to the maelstrom. There was a cacophony of noise inside his head.

Panting, Finn sat up in the bed, reorienting himself to his surroundings. He was on the _Tantive IV_. The last thing he could remember was Poe excusing himself to take a quick rinse. During that time, Finn must have dozed off. Space travel always seemed to exhaust him. He wondered if they had made the jump to hyperspace yet. The entry point to Hydian Way was some distance from Coruscant, but it was the most direct route to Alderaan.

Finn could still hear the shrieking noise he'd heard in his dream.

“Finn? Finn?” Rey's voice came to life on his commlink.

Scrambling off the bed, Finn reached for his lightsaber first. The shrieking noise wasn't a remnant sound from his dream. It was an alarm blaring on the ship. With his lightsaber ignited, Finn pulled out his commlink. “Rey, what's happening?”

“Finn, we're being boarded! We're under attack!”

Finn wanted to ask Rey who was boarding them, but he knew that would be a bad idea. Their communication was probably being monitored if they were being boarded. His mind raced with questions and escape plans and—.

Looking around the chamber, Finn realized Poe was gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the feedback and comments. For any Star Wars discussions, feel free to hit me up on my tumblr: huttslut
> 
> Sorry about the cliffhanger!
> 
> Note: For anyone unfamiliar, Vaapad is a form of lightsaber combat that was invented by Mace Windu. It is very hard to learn both because of the mindset involved but also the actual combat style is aggeessive. Witnesses of Vaapad say the wielders loolk like they are holding many lightsabers.


	5. Boarding Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Finn had broken the Jedi Code that night: he made a promise to Poe. He intertwined their fates and created an unbreakable attachment between them. Finn promised Poe that no one would die. Finn promised Poe the impossible.

" _Who's the more foolish: the fool or the fool who follows him?_ " -Obi-Wan Kenobi

They had almost made it to the entry point for Hydian Way when it happened. The _Tantive IV_ lurched forward, and Rey was flung from her seat, her head nearly colliding with the ship's control panel. Jessika stuck out her arm to steady Rey who was grateful to not have her head cracked open. She was usually more graceful on a ship; it was Finn who was clumsy and uncoordinated in space as if his body refused to acclimate to the artificial gravity created by the ships. After shuddering, the _Tantive IV_ powered down. The consoles in the cockpit froze, and the low thrumming of the engines that reverberated steadily through the ship's metal hull ceased. The lights dimmed and then returned. An alarm blared.

“Ion cannons,” Jessika and Rey groaned in unison and then smiled at one another as if it was a secret they shared.

The ship violently pitched again, and the three of them felt it begin to crawl backwards. Frantically, Snap toggled with various switches and turned a series of dials, muttering under his breath as he did.

“No use,” Jessika said, glancing over at her co-pilot. “They have a tractor beam. Besides, the engine needs jumped again if we want this ship operational.”

“Who is ‘they?’” muttered Rey. Even if this was not the dark forces seeking Senator Dameron, Rey had a bad feeling about what they were being pulled into.

Snap checked the scanners, which were on the fritz, but operational. “Their ship isn't too big. Bet it's a short-range tractor beam.”

Jessika nodded. “We'll have to hold off whoever boards us then.” She turned to Rey. “Can you buy as time and cover me? Short-range tractor beams switch off automatically—usually because the ships that carry them don't have the power to sustain long-term use.”

“And because they usually can clear out their prisoners before the beam disables itself,” Snap added. One of his hands was tugging at his beard.

Jessika glared at him. “Thank you for your helpful input, Snap.”

“I can do it,” Rey said.

“Excellent. I'll comm Karé to put the ship on lockdown and deploy the defense squad. I have to get to the engine room. Snap, seal the bridge. When I comm you to punch it, you get us out of their hangar and to the hyperlane.”

Snap saluted her.

The door hissed open. Jessika and Rey stepped out, and Snap sealed the doors shut behind them. Jessika led the way through the corridors of the _Tantive IV,_ blaster held at the ready. Rey pulled out her commlink and lightsaber. She patched into Finn who was utterly confused, and Rey filled him in on what was happening.

The alarm shrieked overhead.

Rey ignited her blue saber and reached out to the Force. Swirling around her was chaos. She could feel fear, confusion, ambition, and primal aggression. There was no sense of darkness. No tremors in the Force. Only the steady pulse of emotions deemed normal by the denizens of the galaxy. Even Rey, who was often bested by outbursts of anger, could never imagine such a range of feelings and the intensity of them. Who could feel so many different things at once and not go mad from it?

Footsteps slapped on the ground, and Rey ceased concentrating on the flood of feelings in the ship. Instinctively, she grabbed Jessika's sleeve and pulled her into an alcove, silently thanking the Corellian Engineering Corporation for the tactical corvette design. Alcoves meant stealth, and Rey was very much a fan of the element of surprise. Next to her, she could feel Jessika pulsing with the same adrenaline that was running through her veins. Through the Force, she could feel the synchronicity between them.

The footsteps drew nearer, and Rey leapt out, shouting and swinging her blade down. There was a hum as the saber made contact with the tip of the male human's blaster. Without needing to be told, Jessika shot at the man, the ray making contact with his side, and he collapsed to the ground.

“We'll stun ‘em and stuff ‘em in the brig,” said Jessika, “You can interrogate them later. Nice battle cry, by the way.”

Rey laughed and gestured for Jessika to lead the way to the engine room.

* * *

 

When he had finished rinsing off under the rejuvenating warm shower spray, Poe discovered Finn was asleep on the bed. Even in sleep, the Jedi was composed; he lay rigid on his back with his hands folded on his chest. Still, he looked peaceful in sleep. His face wasn't tight with worry—the stress that inevitably came from feeling as though the weight of the galaxy's peace and harmony was on his shoulders. That was a burden too heavy for anyone to bear, Jedi or not, let alone a twenty-three year old.

Poe stood there watching his chest rise and fall. He could stand there for hours memorizing all the details that comprised Finn: the black coils of his hair, the rounded shape of his jaw, and the high arch of his eyebrows. Even in sleep, Finn was still wearing his jacket, and it made Poe's heart swell. Quickly, he pushed away the thought of Finn wearing his clothes before other parts of his body started to swell.

Not wanting to interrupt Finn, whom Poe suspected slept very little since being assigned to be a bodyguard, he slipped out of the captain’s quarters. Restless from not being behind the controls of the ship, Poe needed to stretch his legs. BB-8, of a similar mindset, trundled after Poe.

_What about Friend Finn?_ BB-8 chirped inquisitively.

“He needs rest, buddy. You know what it's like to run on low battery.”

BB-8 nodded. _Exhausting_.

After making two rounds of the ship, Poe decided to seek out L'ulo L'ampar. The Duros had been a close friend to his parents, Kes Dameron and Shara Bey, and had fought beside them in the Alderaan Civil War. If anyone could offer guidance to Poe, it was L'ulo. After the war, L'ulo briefly moved into the Dameron ranch on Alderaan to help Kes raise Poe, and he saw the Duros as a family member. Poe needed to confide in someone. Even though he acted nonchalant around the Jedi, Poe was frightened. He was being hunted by Sith Lords. A monstrous darkness was seeking him. He felt weak and useless—a foreign feeling to him.

In the senate, Poe had power and control akin to a leader. He was used to calling the shots. To making the tough decisions. In this situation, Poe was stripped of his power and any semblance of control.

As the ship's bosun, L'ulo was probably in the operations forum, overseeing the crew. Poe was making his way to the front of the ship when it happened. The _Tantive IV_ jolted forward, and the lights flickered in the corridors. Poe heard the faint low whine of the ship's systems shutting down: the notorious work of ion cannons. Another sharp jolt, and the ship was buckling backwards, and Poe knew it was a tractor beam.

BB-8, skittish as always, darted into the dimly-lit side corridor, peeked out, and chirped, _Scared_.

“It'll be alright,” Poe murmured, hand instinctively falling to his holster.

His heart fell when he realized the holster was empty. He'd left his blaster and commlink back in the room, having been too distracted by Finn. Taking a deep breath, Poe followed BB-8 into the side corridor as the ship's emergency alert siren wailed overhead. If he could make it back to the quarters, he could grab his gun.

_Scared_ , BB-8 beeped. _Where is Friend Finn?_

Poe patted the droid’s head and followed it down the corridor, both moving cautiously. Tractor beams always meant a boarding party. Boarding parties always meant conflict.

The two of them proceeded down the arcing side corridor. That was when Poe heard it: approaching footsteps. BB-8 darted into an alcove, and Poe steeled himself, heart hammering wildly as he waited to discover whether the footsteps indicated friend or foe.

A rough muscular arm, murky green in color, emerged from nowhere, catching Poe by surprise. It wrapped itself around Poe's neck, and the senator felt himself being lifted off his feet even as he struggled. He choked and gasped from the pressure on his throat and reached up in a vain attempt to pry the arm off of him.

His assailant chortled, “What do we have here? Our first catch of the day, it seems.”

The grip around his neck eased off just enough for Poe to catch his breath. A sigh escaped his lips. Clearly, his attacker did not know he was a senator, meaning this was not the work of the Sith. At least that was a comforting thought.

Another hand grabbed a fistful of Poe's hair, yanking his head back. Out of his peripheral, Poe could see the bony head crest and inflatable wattle that marked the Besalisk species. A third of the Besalisk's four arms reached up, running a finger down Poe's jaw. “You'll do well on the pleasure market. Make us lots of money.”

Slavers. They were being boarded by human traffickers. Only a few weeks ago, Poe was urging the Senate to take seriously the reports that slavers were growing bold and moving into the Inner Rim. His fellow senators did not want to hear it, though. Slavery was an atrocity limited to the savage planets of the Outer Rim. It couldn't happen to them and their sophisticated worlds.

“You'd like that, wouldn't you?” Poe grunted. A voice in the back of his head, which sounded strangely like Finn, told Poe not to taunt his captor. “If I looked like a slimy Hutt, I'd need to pay others to fuck me, too.”

Pain seared through his body as the Besalisk threw him against the wall. His head knocked against it, and he felt dizzy. There was a ringing in his ears… or was that the emergency alarm? If he could keep the other angry and distracted, maybe Poe could form a plan and escape.

The Besalisk began dragging Poe backwards. Refusing to surrender quietly, Poe clawed at the arm around his neck. Even if he fought out of the grip, he knew he wouldn't make it far. The Besalisk was twice his size and armed, but the alternative was worse. It was a chance Poe would have to take.

Angling his head, Poe leaned down and clamped his jaw down around the Besalisk's arm, sinking his teeth into the thick flesh.

* * *

 

Finn tore down the corridor, reaching out desperately with the Force to find Poe. The man had left both his blaster and his commlink behind. Crewmembers bustled down the winding corridors, blasters held at the ready. Ignoring their presence, Finn sought for Poe. To Finn, the distinct energies and tangling web of the Force resembled the galaxy; Poe's energy burned like a sun.

Like a planet locked in orbit around a star, Finn felt the gravitational pull of Poe. He followed it, slipping out of the main hall and into a winding side corridor with little light. Rounding a corner, Finn let out a ragged breath he had been holding upon seeing Poe who was being dragged down the corridor by a hulking Besalisk. The Besalisk grunted in pain as Poe sank his teeth into one of his four arms.

Gripping his lightsaber tight, Finn fell into the battle stances that Master Windu had taught him. Vaapad was a form of fighting that inched the user into darkness and encouraged the thrill of the battle. In the corridor, Finn had no trouble feeling the thrill. It wasn't the thrill of the battle; it was the thrill of the victory so close. Saving Poe. He rushed toward the Besalisk, and in one fluid motion, chopped off one of his arms.

The Besalisk howled in pain and stumbled backward. BB-8 shot out from its hiding place in an alcove, a shock prod extended, and buried the tool into the leg of Poe's captor. The Besalisk released Poe who fell to the ground. Finn was still latched onto the pain and anger emanating from his opponent who was now raising his blaster, not at Finn, at Poe. Without hesitation, Finn sliced down through the air, decapitating a second arm before the trigger could be pulled.

Vaapad consumed Finn. He basked in the victory: Poe was alive. His body tingled from the Force, and he held onto the feeling of that energy fueling his senses. It was like he had transitioned into another plane of existence, which comprised of nothing but emotions. The fear pulsating from Poe's crumpled form. The rage from the Besalisk, which was like an inferno. The thrill of victory.

Finn rammed his lightsaber through the Besalisk's stomach. The fires of rage that had burned in those yellow eyes quelled and were replaced by emptiness. The body slammed to the ground.

Flicking off his lightsaber and clipping it to his utility belt, Finn knelt beside Poe, placing a hand on his back and feeling the tremors in his body. “Are you okay?”

Poe nodded. “Slavers,” he muttered, “We're being boarded by slavers.”

Finn helped Poe to his feet. He would seal him in the captain’s quarters and rejoin the crew to defend the ship. Poe looked only seconds away from succumbing to shock, and fresh blood was dripping from his head.

“My blaster,” Poe said suddenly, stumbling out of Finn's grip.

Finn handed the weapon over to Poe, figuring the senator would feel safer with it. He handed Poe the commlink as well. “Let's get yo—”

“Karé,” Poe said into the commlink, ignoring Finn. “We've been boarded. I need a status report.”

The security officer’s voice crackled into the commlink. “Working on restoring the ship's systems. Two wounded—nothing critical. They seem to want to take us alive.”

“They're slavers. Don't let them capture anyone.”

“Poe,” said Karé, “they already have. They took L'ulo.”

The communication device slipped from Poe's fingers. Instantly, Finn was at Poe's side, wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him from falling to the ground as well. He was trembling, clutching wildly at Finn before grabbing a fistful of Finn's shirt.

Shock, Finn reminded himself. Poe was in shock. He had to get him back to safety.

“Finn, we have to save L'ulo,” said Poe, “Finn, we have to.”

Finn could remember the night in Poe's apartment on Coruscant when Poe told him he didn't want anyone dying for him. How he wouldn't be able to shoulder such a sacrifice.

And Finn had broken the Jedi Code that night: he made a promise to Poe. He intertwined their fates and created an unbreakable attachment between them. Finn promised Poe that no one would die. Finn promised Poe the impossible.

_I don't want anyone to die because of me_.

“How do we do that?”

“Finn, do you trust me?”

Finn looked into Poe’s eyes. There was a fire that had been forged in his irises, burning anew. “Yes,” he breathed out.

Poe nodded. He crouched down to BB-8’s level. “I need you to get back to the room, buddy. Stay there. Keep safe. I'll be back for you.”

The droid whined.

Poe rubbed its rounded body. “Finn will keep me safe. I promise I will come back for you.”

After a series of beeps and whistles, BB-8 acquiesced and rolled off down the corridor, hurrying back to the captain's quarters.

Poe stood up and faced Finn again. “Trust me. Whatever happens, stay hidden and stay close.”

Without another word, Poe thrust his blaster and commlink back into Finn's hands and sauntered off down the corridor. Finn followed at a close distance. He didn't know what the senator had planned, but Finn had a feeling that Poe would do it with or without him. He watched as Poe emerged into the main corridor amid the chaos.

The traffickers were retreating back to the airlock having been bested by Karé Kun's security forces. Finn knew this didn't mean surrender; the enemy would leave with what they had, regroup, and push back into the ship to overtake the crew.

Poe entered the fray, hands held high, and allowed himself be captured.

* * *

 

Another body fell to the ground, collapsing under the stun ray from Jessika's blaster. With the ship's security forces in action, Rey and the captain had an easier time maneuvering through the ship to the engine room. From there, they could jumpstart the engines again and speed away to freedom. Any pirates remaining onboard would be taken to the brig. Queen Organa of Alderaan would dispense justice, for it was an Alderaan consular ship they attacked.

“So close to freedom,” muttered Jessika, stepping over the stunned body and slipping into the engine room.

Rey followed. After surveying the room and finding no threats, she lowered her lightsaber, but didn't sheathe it. Instead, she lurked near the entrance, ready to protect Jessika while she jumped the engine.

Had the engine not needed the captain's full attention, Rey was sure Jessika wouldn't even need her. She was strong and capable, and Rey admired the calm composure she carried even in the midst of a crisis. If the galaxy was resting on Captain Jessika Pava's shoulders, Rey had no doubt the woman would carry the responsibility with her head held high. There was a fearlessness in her demeanor that Rey admired more than anything else.

Rey often found herself tied down by fear and anger. Shaak Ti had trained her to hide and repress those emotions, but Rey's resolve often crumbled—especially around Finn. Around Finn, Rey felt free to talk about how she felt betrayed for being abandoned by parents she would never know. Around Finn, she could be angry and impatient with the way the Jedi seemed to shirk their responsibilities. The galaxy was suffering, but the Jedi always waited to involve themselves, always waiting for bureaucracy to fail before they took action.

Around the galaxy, the Jedi were a symbol of hope. Sometimes Rey wondered if they lived up to the legends. Without them, she surely would have died on Jakku or been sold into slavery, but how many other children across the stars did the Jedi leave this fate to? She was seen as special, so she had been spared such a fate. Why were the other abandoned children doomed to their fates? Why were they not special?

If Finn were not a Jedi, Rey questioned whether she would feel loyal to the Jedi Order. Would she even be compelled to stay? She could find a way to ease the collective suffering in the galaxy on her own because it was clear the Jedi were nothing but political pawns.

“Almost have it,” Jessika grunted, cutting two wires with a pair of pliers while they sparked in her hands.

Her hands were black with grease and oil while they worked to solder the wires that would trick the engine into restarting and forgetting the electrical systems had been tampered with by an ion cannon. Rey remembered working to reboot engines devastated by ion cannons back at the Jedi Temple; manual overrides were complicated and time-consuming.

Jessika fared well; her hands moved around the components of the engine with a familiarity that Rey thought was akin to two lovers knowing each other. She thought of Rose Tico and how she had familiarized Rose's skin with her lips. Through their kisses, Rey was able to map Rose's dimples, her pouting lips, her rounded cheeks, and the laugh lines on her face when Rey's kisses tickled her. Sometimes Rey wondered, had she asked Rose, would Rose have run away with her and left the Jedi behind to pursue the attachment between them?

“It's done,” announced Jessika. She picked up her commlink. “Punch it, Snap.”

The _Tantive IV_ shot free of its captors, engines thrusting the ship toward the hyperspace lane where it shot into light speed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and comments. Feel free to find me on tumblr (huttslut) to discuss Star Wars or Finnpoe!
> 
> Note: The next chapter has an unsettling situation, but it is nothing more than that.
> 
> Also, more meaningful Jessika and Rey dialogue will occur. For now, just enjoy them being a kickass team together.


	6. Rising Tides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was something about Finn that made it impossible for Poe not to trust him. It was his eyes; Finn's eyes were filled with warmth that reminded Poe of home. They were the color of chinar trees and the soft earth of the Isatabith Rainforest. Of the mountainous terrain he explored as a child and the glow of the cliffs in the sunlight. Finn's eyes were the color of home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter includes a suggestive situation, but it is nothing. 
> 
> Note: Karé and Snap are canonically involved with each other.
> 
> A thanks to everyone reading this story and commenting! As always, you can reach me on my blog to talk (huttslut).

_"There are places in this galaxy that are grand and important. The majority of us, we never see those places. But we have our own stories... And sometimes, even when they seem blackened and burnt... when they appear to hold no light, hope, or chance or redemption... when there appears to be no possible outcome but an ending... they continue. Lycan said to me, 'Men are not driven by altruism.' I'll prove him wrong_." -Darca Nyl

The plan made sense in Poe's head. He would surrender to the traffickers, they would take him to the holding cells, and Finn would break out both him and L'ulo. Poe would be the key to getting them into the prison bay where L'ulo was being held, since neither of them knew the type of security the slavers had on their ship. However, he hadn't considered the gruffness of the slavers who hauled him from the _Tantive IV_ and into their gargantuan cargo ship; they reveled in Poe's pain. When he grimaced from the tattooed human's vice grip on his wrist, his comrades jeered. When he stumbled on the march to the holding cells, they would shove him into the wall, laughing raucously at his pained reactions.

“Don't rough up the product too much, Nines,” a Sullustan in the group told the tattooed man. “The boss wants to make a profit. Can't do that with damaged goods.”

Poe bit down on his lip to stop himself from snapping back at the group. Finn's voice was in his head, telling him to remain calm and not to do anything stupid. When left to his own devices, Poe's mouth often got him into trouble; it was even harder restraining himself when he was on the senate platforms, but he learned to play their game. He wished Finn was with him instead of the echo of Finn in his mind; he felt safer when the Jedi was near. Poe hoped that Finn was still following behind them and wouldn't let himself get caught. Finn was Poe's only chance for survival and escape from this hell.

“Do you trust me?” Finn asked Poe when they first met. When he swept Poe off his feet, and the two of them flew through the Coruscant air. When Finn saved him.

“Yes,” Poe had responded without a second thought.

There was something about Finn that made it impossible for Poe not to trust him. It was his eyes; Finn's eyes were filled with warmth that reminded Poe of home. They were the color of chinar trees and the soft earth of the Isatabith Rainforest. Of the mountainous terrain he explored as a child and the glow of the cliffs in the sunlight. Finn's eyes were the color of home.

Just as Poe was prepared to trust Finn with his life that first night, he trusted Finn to see him safely off this ship. He listened to the Finn-like voice in his head and kept his snappish retorts to himself.

“Pretty boy, here, is going to make us money—roughed up or not,” said Nines, the tattooed human.

The Sullustan sighed, “At least don't rough him up _too_ much until the boss has tested the product out. He's probably finished with the Twi'lek girl we brought him.”

Poe squeezed his eyes shut to block out their voices. He didn't want to hear them talking about lives as though they were nothing more than chattel. Instead, he focused on the plan: locate the cells where L'ulo would be, break out, steal a shuttle from their hangar, and commandeer it to Alderaan. The last part of the plan had been added last minute when Poe watched the _Tantive IV_ shoot away to freedom. He should have known Jessika wouldn't stand for being captive too long; hopefully, Poe and Finn and L’ulo were safely en route to Alderaan before any of the crew realized they were missing. Jessika would never let him live it down if he botched this mission for her.

The slavers prodded Poe into a cavernous room lined with cells. He felt sick when he noticed just how many cells were occupied, and the occupants did their best to blend in with the shadows while their captors passed. Poe kept his eyes torn for L'ulo, but there wasn't enough light. Hopefully, Finn would have better luck locating the Duros.

Nines shoved him into a cell.

The Sullustan said, “Prepare him.”

Nines hiked the sleeve of Poe's shirt up, exposing his forearm. After rummaging in his pockets, he pulled out a syringe. Poe tried to reel back, but Nines tightened his hold on Poe's wrist into a bruising grip and then prodded the needle into his arm. He pushed down on the plunger, and Poe gasped.

His arm tingled with cold as the serum entered his body. An icy chill crawled up his arm, painstakingly slow. If he closed his eyes, Poe could almost envision the drug flooding his body. His heart beat a rapid staccato rhythm in his chest. He wondered what the injection was and what it would do to him. It wouldn't kill him, that much he knew: they needed him alive to make money. Corpses just weren't in high demand.

Prepare him? Perhaps it was a drug that would addle his mind and make him subservient. Did those even exist? Or was it one of those drugs that circulated throughout the Uscru Entertainment District on Coruscant? The tawdry region was notorious for drugs that created pleasure, drugs that made the user hallucinate, and even drugs that could mimic the feeling of being encased in carbonite—the closest to death one could get. Poe wasn't sure which of those would be the worse fate.

The human and the Sullustan left, closing his cell door and speaking in low murmurs about the cargo and the money they would reap from the sales.

Poe stumbled backwards, feeling disoriented, and he slid down the cell wall. His mind raced with all the possibilities of what the injection could be, but his train of thought kept faltering. His body kept distracting him. It felt strange: his limbs were unresponsive, his bones felt heavy, and his vision was clouded with shadows. He couldn't move. Had they paralyzed him? Would he ever regain control of his body? Did people buy paralyzed pleasure slaves, abandoning any idea of reciprocity?

He tried to move his fingers, focusing entirely upon executing the action, but to no avail. His mind and body were like two separate entities, and their communication system was down. He wanted to fall apart and cry from frustration, but the muscles in his face wouldn't cooperate either.

Taking a deep breath, Poe tried to calm himself. Finn would come for him. Finn would save him. He and L'ulo would make it out alive.

* * *

Finn hadn't wanted to do it initially. Out of all the advantages the Force offered its users, mind tricks were Finn's least favorite, and he avoided using them at all cost. There was something about stripping people of their free will that didn't sit well with him. In this situation, it was necessary. He had to reach Poe and L'ulo. The fact that the crew of the ship were slavers made it easier for Finn to complete the task. These were people who made their living by stripping others of their autonomy.

Peering around the corner, Finn saw a group of three crewmembers clustered near the cell block: a human, a Balosar, and a Zabrak. Finn took a deep breath and reached out with the Force, following the threads of energy that pulsed around the group. Concentrating, Finn worked to manipulate those threads, beading a suggestion along the string. The seed planted in their minds: they all agreed they heard a disturbance in the ship's operation forum. As the seed rooted in their minds and flourished, they all agreed that the disturbance required all three of their attentions, and they abandoned their post along with their blasters.

Finn slipped into the prison block once their retreating forms disappeared from view. In the block, Finn could feel a deep swirling pool of fear and suffering. The emotions were thick and suffocating; it reminded Finn of the thick veil of humidity on Felucia. He felt sick from it, but he pressed on, hurrying over to a full cell where he noticed the Duros was.

“Master Finn,” L'ulo L'ampar greeted, relief in his voice. Despite his capture, he seemed unhurt and rather nonplussed as though this was nothing more than a mild setback.

In the cell with L'ulo was a sobbing Twi'lek girl, two young Rodian boys, and an elderly female human. Their suffering was palpable. Finn focused on separating himself from their grief. Master Windu always told him he felt too deeply, and now Finn knew what his master was talking about.

Finn embraced the Force again and focused the energy into the locking mechanism, arranging the parts until it clicked, and the cell door opened.

“L'ulo, can you commandeer a shuttle from their hangar?” asked Finn.

He nodded. “Of course. Did the _Tantive_ get away, then?”

“Yeah.”

L'ulo sighed, “Good. As long as Poe's safe.”

“L'ulo, Poe is here. He let himself be captured to break you out of here.” Finn looked around the hold. Even reaching out with the Force, Finn couldn't sense the other man who usually pulsed like a burning sun within the galactic imprint that Finn envisioned the Force as. “L'ulo, where is Poe?”

The Twi'lek girl spoke up, hiccupping through her sobs, “Th-the boss takes the pleasure slaves a-and tries them out.”

At her words, Finn could finally understand the swell of fear in the prison hold; his heart swelled in a similar fashion.

He reached out with the Force again, methodically unlocking the other cells. “L'ulo, get everyone to a shuttle. Get it ready. I'll find Poe.”

Finn handed the Duros one of the three blasters he had forced the crew out front to surrender before they ran to the operations forum. He doled the other ones out to the Twi'lek girl, who accepted it with a trembling hand, and the elderly woman who laid a hand on Finn briefly and whispered her thanks. Then Finn sprinted out of the hold, heart pumping and adrenaline flooding his veins. He let the Force guide him like it was a gravitational pull leading him into Poe's orbit.

The grief he felt in the prison block was quickly replaced by fierce determination. The Twi'lek girl's voice rang in his head, and Finn sped up. On Coruscant, Finn promised that Poe wouldn't need to fear anything as long as Finn was around. Finn wasn't going to break that promise; he didn't care whether the promise symbolized a form of attachment that was forbidden to Jedi. Finn would keep his promise or die trying.

* * *

 While the _Tantive IV_ coasted through hyperspace along the Hydian Way, Rey watched Jessika scribbling in the captain's log book. Snap monitored their trajectory, keeping an eye for the coordinates that indicated they would need to enter sub-light speed.

“Karé reported four injuries from the raid,” Jessika mumbled, writing as she spoke, “One dead Besalisk—name unknown. Affiliation: slavers. And three prisoners taken.”

“And one crewmember captured,” Snap supplied.

“I've already sent a transmission to Alderaan,” Jessika said, “They have the details of the ship. Hopefully, they can find it and rescue L'ulo. There's nothing else we can do, Snap. We have our mission.” Jessika swiveled her chair to face Rey. “Did you interrogate the prisoners?”

Rey shook her head. She was waiting for Finn in order to start the questioning. She didn't want to face the men alone. She was so disgusted with their profession, and she didn't trust herself not to immediately jump to anger around them. At least with Finn around, he would keep a level head. They balanced each other out.

Rey's dream and the discovery of her connection to the darkness still worried her.

“Finn turned his commlink off,” Rey explained, “Space doesn't agree with him.”

“I'm surprised Poe hasn't been wandering the ship since the attack,” said Jessika, “He isn't the type to sit around and do nothing.”

“Maybe he _is_ doing nothing,” smirked Snap, “Maybe ‘nothing' is Finn.”

Jessika laughed, “I'll throw him a party if that's the case. He's so wound up all the time, he needs a good fuck. At this point, I think it's medically necessary.”

Rey ducked her head down to hide the blush creeping on her cheeks. She thought of Rose and kissing her, and how it made Rey feel grounded. It was the strangest of feelings, considering Rey was always seeking ways to fly or to get into space. She hated being grounded. With Rose, it felt right.

“Can Jedi have…carnal relations?” asked Snap, turning to Rey.

Rey thought of Rose and thought of Shaak Ti's admonishments. “Attachments are forbidden,” she supplied automatically.

“Do you really need to be attached to someone for that?”

“Don't let Karé hear you say that,” warned Jessika.

Snap rolled his eyes. “Karé knows how I feel about her, and I know how she feels about me.”

“It's that simple?” asked Rey suddenly.

“Don't take relationship advice from Snap. Karé got him—not the other way around.”

“So…love is possessive?” That would explain why the Jedi forbade such attachments. Jedi should not be tied down by possessions or material objects. Such greed was antithetical to the Jedi's doctrine of selflessness and altruism for the sake of the galaxy.

“No. I shouldn't have phrased it like that.” Jessika looked at Rey. Her eyes were a deep and warm brown. They were a soft shade like Finn's. “Love is like an engine. It's the way a piston fires—that tiny explosion in a closed space. And those explosions cycle the piston, and there's all that energy being harnessed to move everything forward. The smaller the space, the more powerful the explosion.”

Rey frowned. Kissing Rose had never felt like pistons firing in an engine. It had felt like an engine winding down. It was refreshing, but there were no explosions or propulsions.

“Testor, always the romantic,” snickered Snap. “If I compared Karé to an engine, she'd be telling me to stick my dick in the exhaust port.”

Rey wished Finn would turn his commlink on again. She needed to talk to him even if Finn didn't have any experience with love. Finn never stole away in the Jedi Temple to kiss pretty girls like Rose Tico. Still, he was always comforting to talk to. His calm demeanor was infectious, and it pushed away all those feelings of anger and frustration that lived inside Rey. She wished she could control her emotions better. Shaak Ti would be disappointed.

If Finn didn't respond by the time the _Tantive IV_ wound down to sub-light speed, Rey would bust through the door to the captain's quarters and wake him up herself. She needed Finn. She was sick of feeling alone.

* * *

 Finn followed the light that was Poe Dameron. To him, the tangled energies of the Force were like a galaxy; at the moment, Poe shone like the bright center of the galaxy with a cascading luminosity that wove a path to connect Finn with him. The _Force weaves as the Force wills_ , Finn thought to himself. He trusted it to lead him to Poe. It led him up the lifts and to a sealed door, which he forced open without hesitation. He didn't care about stealth anymore. He could take on anyone who was on the other side of the door.

There was only one person on the other side: a paunchy and bald human male wearing a bright gold robe. His skin was pasty under the bright lights of the quarters. The room was lavish. A small table was filled with flutes of sparkling champagne. Beside that, there was a sabacc table, which was unoccupied as the robed man strolled across the floor, which was covered in a wampa pelt. His destination was a round bed full of plush pillows and silk sheets. And on the bed was Poe.

He was clothed, but looked disheveled. He didn't even move or look up at Finn's arrival. It was almost as if he couldn't. Anger formed in the pit of Finn's stomach like a black hole.

“I'm not ready for the Togruta,” the man snapped, “I haven't quite started with this one yet.”

He turned to face Finn who had drawn his lightsaber. It ignited with a thrum of energy.

“Who are you?” Despite being unarmed, the man held himself in a regal, controlled manner. It masked his fear.

Finn took a step closer, focusing on the feeling of his saber in his hands. Power. Victory. Justice.

“I didn't realize the Jedi had expanded their jurisdiction,” the man continued calmly, “Did the Senate approve this course of action? Boarding ships without warrant? I have rights, you know?”

Finn stalked forward and tightened his grip on his lightsaber. Anger coursed through him. Anger at this man who stood in front of Finn, barking that he had rights while he stripped others of theirs and profited from it. Anger at this entire business and how the Republic was complicit in the enslavement of these people. The rage boiled deep within him.

Mace Windu had warned him about the dangers of being blinded by darkness, but Finn stamped that warning away. Vaapad concerned itself with stepping into the bubbling waters of darkness, but not drowning in it. Finn was merely testing the tide.

Without warning, he lunged forward, stabbing the man in the stomach and almost relishing the way the light fizzled from the man's eyes. It wasn't anger that settled in Finn anymore. That rage had been replaced. What settled in Finn, upon staring at the body of the unarmed slaver he cut down, was a sense of justice, and justice was not always peaceful.

He didn't even revel in the slave boss' body slumping forward. Instead, he sheathed his lightsaber and tore off to the bed where Poe was.

“Finn,” Poe rasped, eyes fluttering open. Instead of shining as usual, his eyes were glassy and glazed over.

There was dried blood caked on Poe. Finn reached down to lay his hand on Poe's heart, feeling the steady, albeit slow, rhythm of the organ. “Poe, are you okay?”

“Finn,” repeated Poe.

“We have to go,” urged Finn, but Poe didn't move. It seemed like he couldn't move. His body was pliant and unresponsive under Finn's hands. The beat of his heart and Finn's name falling from his lips were the only indication that Poe was alive.

Poe groaned.

“I got you,” whispered Finn, hooking his arm under Poe's knees and shoulders and lifting him from the bed.

In his arms, Poe was deadweight. His body also felt cold, and Finn tried not to think about the way it felt like he was carrying a corpse. Instead, he worked to remember Poe's smile and his laugh, but those memories felt like they had occurred in a different universe. All Finn could do was hold him close. Once they were on the shuttle, Finn could work on getting Poe warm.

He tried not to think too much as he carried him out of the room. Emotions would only get in the way and impede Finn. He needed a clear head in case he was caught smuggling Poe out of the boss' quarters.

“We're getting out of here,” he murmured, tightening his grip on Poe as his head lolled onto Finn's shoulder.

“F-finn” he said, slurring slightly, “I knew you'd come.”

The path he took to the shuttle was clear. It was as if the galaxy conspired to give Finn this win. _The Force weaves as the Force wills,_ Finn reminded himself, hurrying onboard. The shuttle had two levels: an upper deck with the controls and a ventral cargo deck that could be detached if needed. The majority of the freed captives were down below, huddled together or slumped against the wall.

“Is Poe alright?” L'ulo asked, ushering Finn onboard.

“He will be,” said Finn, and it sounded like a prayer. “Let's get out of here.”

Casting a final concerned glance at Poe, L'ulo stationed himself at the controls and prepared the shuttle for takeoff.

Finn laid Poe down on one of the flight crew benches and stripped off the his borrowed jacket, laying it on Poe’s quivering form. His face was pale, and his eyes kept fluttering open as he drifted in and out of consciousness. Without thinking, Finn reached out and pushed Poe's dangling curls away from his face.

“Master Jedi?” Finn turned. It was the elderly woman in the cell who had grabbed his hand and thanked him. “What happens now?”

“I don't know,” admitted Finn in a whisper, staring down at Poe who was muttering Finn's name over and over.

 


	7. Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He's just like her,” continued L'ulo, “Shara was always putting herself in harm's way to keep others safe. She was a little reckless and stubborn, but she was talented and tactical. Above all, she was loyal. Kes always said that loyalty killed Shara Bey. I hope it doesn't do the same to Poe.”

_“Because nothing is more dangerous than a Jedi who's finally sane_.” -Depa Billaba

The stolen shuttle felt cold and empty; it was like the skeleton of a great beast, and the passengers were nothing more than scavenging carrion desperately clinging to the remnants. The majority of the rescued captives were in the lower hold, pressing themselves against the metallic hull of the ship as though they couldn't remember a lifetime where they weren't scared and subservient. Many were huddled together for comfort or clinging to one another as if afraid of being captured again. Others sought isolation and sat alone in the shadowy undercarriage still trying to process the events from earlier. Only the older woman Mirri and the young Twi'lek girl Aiya chose to sit in the upper hold where Finn was watching over Poe.

The other man's body had warmed up slightly. He no longer felt like ice, but his teeth still chattered, and his body was clammy as it trembled underneath the jacket Finn had tossed over him. His copper skin seemed pale, and Finn had to keep pressing his hand to Poe's pulse to remind himself that Poe was alive and not a skeleton.

Under Mace Windu's tutelage, and with Depa Billaba's help, Finn learned the art of healing. He could heal minor wounds or contain an infection. Master Windu had even taught him how to use the Force to pinch off a bleeding artery until medical help could come. Whatever was happening inside Poe's body was beyond Finn's knowledge. Not only did Finn have no clue what drugs were in Poe's system, but he had no way of flushing those drugs out. All he could do was monitor the other man's reactions and wait for the drugs to run their course in his body.

The only reassurance was the knowledge that the slavers wouldn't kill Poe; they would not have been able to make money off a dead man.

“How is he doing?” L'ulo asked, clambering back into the hold once he had jumped the shuttle into hyperspace en route to Alderaan. The Duros frowned when he saw Poe's shivering body, and he stripped his own jacket off, adding it atop the jacket Finn had laid over him.

“Not so cold,” said Finn. “Not sure if that's a good sign or not.”

L’ulo sat down across from Finn and Poe. “He'll be okay. He's a fighter.”

Finn looked up. “Were you in the Flight Academy with Poe, too?”

“No,” chuckled L'ulo, “I was in the academy with his mother, Shara. She was the lieutenant of our squadron. Remarkable woman. A great leader and pilot. An even better friend. I see so much of her in Poe.”

“That's why Poe didn't want me to protect him,” Finn mused, “I think that's why he wouldn't leave you behind. He didn't want anyone to have to sacrifice themselves the way his mother did during the Alderaan Civil War.”

“I'm not surprised. I helped Kes raise Poe after Shara's death. Kid was only eight-years-old, but he was strong. He cried when he heard the news that his mother wasn't coming home. What kid wouldn't? But at the funeral, when Alderaan gathered to mourn their dead, he kept his chin up. Not a single tear. When all was said and done, I asked him about it; he said he didn't want to upset the queen. Didn't want her to feel responsible. ‘My mom died doing what she loved,’ Poe said to me, ‘She died flying. She died a hero.’

“He's just like her,” continued L'ulo, “Shara was always putting herself in harm's way to keep others safe. She was a little reckless and stubborn, but she was talented and tactical. Above all, she was loyal. Kes always said that loyalty killed Shara Bey. I hope it doesn't do the same to Poe.”

“As long as I'm around, he'll be safe,” Finn said, “I wouldn't have let him leave the _Tantive_ otherwise.”

“After Poe was elected into office, I promised Kes I would keep him safe. Seems I've done a bang-up job of that, huh?” L'ulo's thin face looked gaunt and was heavily creviced with worry lines—a result from the combination of stress and age, Finn assumed. Even L'ulo's red eyes exuded exhaustion; they reminded Finn of Coruscanti sunsets and the shadows the retreating sun would cast along the cityscape.

“The slavers took me by surprise, too,” admitted Finn softly, “Sometimes the Force will prepare you for a situation. It doesn't predict the future, but it can give you a feeling or a read about a situation. There was no warning for this, L'ulo.”

Finn was bothered by the lack of warning from the Force. Even in sleep, Finn would receive signals if there was an imminent threat. Had the Force not considered the human traffickers to be a threat? Did the Force, like the Jedi, turn a blind eye to slavery and the horrors that stemmed from the institution?

Poe jolted awake. His eyes snapped open, and he gasped for breath.

“What's wrong with him?” L'ulo demanded, jumping to his feet along with Finn.

They watched Poe scratch at his throat, wheezing and panting. His eyes were wide with fear, but they retained the glassy quality from the drugs. Finn had a feeling that Poe couldn't actually see them; his gaze was empty.

“His body might be rejecting the different drugs,” squeaked Aiya, who seemed to have found comfort within the elderly woman, Mirri. She was gripping the woman's sleeve with her trembling pale purple fingers. “It would happen sometimes.”

“What did they do when that happened?” asked L'ulo.

Finn let their voices drown into background noise. He closed his eyes, reaching out to the Force and manipulating the air around them in a vain attempt to feed Poe oxygen and help him breathe. The Force had seemed to fail him earlier; it owed him this.

“They took them to the medbay,” Aiya said, “I don't know!”

Poe's gasps died away. His breathing returned to normal, and he slumped back, his eyes falling shut once again. His body lay there motionless as if the incident had never happened. Finn sighed in relief and sat down too; fatigue was creeping into his body.

“Is he okay?” asked L'ulo in a shaky voice.

“I don't know,” admitted Finn.

“I can help,” Mirri said, standing up. Gently, she removed the Twi'lek's grip on her sleeve, bringing one of the girl's hands to her lips and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

“How?”

“Before they took me, on my homeworld Dathomir, I was a priestess,” she explained, “A spiritual healer.”

L'ulo groaned, “His spirit is fine. His body needs help.”

“The spirit and body are the same. It is the spirit that fuels the body. Our bodies, these are nothing more than shells for our real selves. His spirit, the drugs suppress it. When they gave them to me, I could feel my own spirit locked away. It took many days for it to return. Until it did, my body was no different than that cold cell I was locked in.”

“Can you help him?” asked Finn, “Can you help his spirit?”

“I can bond it to yours,” Mirri told him. “Your strength shall hold him afloat until he can receive medical assistance.”

Finn's mind raced. He wondered if this woman spoke the truth, or if she had success with the spiritual ritual back on Dathomir. There had to be merit to religious acts; otherwise, followers would not flock to worship gods and goddesses. Blind faith was rare in the universe. People needed proof that their faith would be rewarded.

Excusing himself, Finn climbed into the cockpit. As if on autopilot, his fingers found the controls for the shuttle's communications, and his fingers flew across the keys based on muscle memory alone. The signal went out to Coruscant, and Finn hardly had to wait for it to be received.

In seconds, Depa Billaba's robed figure was projected atop the shuttle console. The filmy blue image flickered before it stabilized.

“Finn,” she greeted, “is everything okay?”

Finn grimaced. “Things could be… better. That's why I contacted you, Master Billaba.”

“Someone weighs heavily on your mind,” she said knowingly, “Senator Dameron?”

“Master Billaba, have you ever heard of a Dathomirian ritual called ‘bonding?’”

“Yes. It is essentially a link of protection between two individuals. It's a common tribal practice that links warriors with those they are sworn to protect. It can also be used to bond one's strength to another with a weaker constitution—essentially a form of temporary healing.”

“What would happen if I was bonded to P—Senator Dameron?”

Despite being a hologram, Depa's eyes were piercing. “Jedi do not form attachments.”

“It's not an attachment,” said Finn, “It's for protection.”

“You have a moral dilemma about this? Is that why you contacted me instead of Master Windu?”

Finn nodded. “Isn't it blasphemous to even consider this, Master Billaba? Isn't this heresy in the face of the Force?”

Depa chuckled, which surprised Finn. Of all the reactions he expected, amusement was not on the list. Depa Billaba was always an enigmatic figure. Finn regarded her with great reverence, but he always found himself flustered when conversing with the Jedi. “Oh, Finn, even though you've been knighted, you still have much to learn.”

When Finn didn't respond, Depa continued, “Acknowledging other beliefs won't make you an apostate. In the galaxy, there are millions of doctrines and creeds. There are even more gods and goddesses and other deities. Every civilization has their own name for their belief systems and their own worship. But, Finn, it is the same faith—just a different name.

“What the Jedi call the Force is no different than what the Chalactan Adepts teach on my homeworld about illumination. The Adepts believe that the natural laws of the universe exist within us, and we must strive to understand them for the sake of illumination. That is not so different from the Force.”

“No, it's not,” agreed Finn softly. He leaned forward in the co-pilot's seat, hovering closer to the grainy image of Depa. “So…the Jedi way is not the only path?”

“Of course not. Our understanding of the Force and our commitment to it is neither more important nor less important than other beliefs. We have within us the freedom of choice, Finn.”

“Thank you, Master Billaba.”

She smiled, thin-lipped and almost sad. “Whenever you need me, Finn. Know that what we speak about is always between us. I would never betray your trust.”

Finn nodded. “May the Force be with you, Master.”

She echoed back the sentiment, her gaze lingering on Finn for a moment, before the image flickered out.

Finn wondered if she could read his thoughts. He always suspected that Depa Billaba could see more in others than she let on. He hoped he was wrong. The thoughts in his head felt like treason. Poe Dameron's voice was in his head, asking him if he always liked being a Jedi. Telling him that he was more than his title of Jedi Knight. That he was Finn. He wondered if that was true. Master Billaba claimed the Jedi had freedom of choice, but Finn never felt like he was afforded that luxury.

He grew up in the Jedi Temple. He followed the Code, and he trusted in the Force. Yet, Finn had never regarded any of this as a choice he'd made of his own volition. He simply accepted it as his life. Regardless, he owed the Jedi his loyalty for saving his life—for giving him a life.

_Loyalty killed Shara Bey_ , L'ulo's words from earlier materialized in his thoughts. _I hope it doesn't do the same to Poe._

Finn wondered how lethal loyalty was.

* * *

 The _Tantive IV_ exited the Hydian Way and entered sublight speed. Rey paced the corridors of the ship with a white-knuckled grip on her commlink. She was focusing on abating the anger that coursed through her body. After her knocks were ignored by Finn and the senator, Rey overrode the locking mechanism and forced herself into the room.

The captain’s quarters were empty except for the round orange astromech droid that belonged to the senator.

“Where are they?” she interrogated the BB unit.

_Don't know_ , it chirped, staring up at Rey innocently.

Rey narrowed her eyes and bent over to look straight into the droid's single lens. “Don’t lie to me. I know plenty of people who would want to melt you down for scrap metal.”

BB-8 beeped indignantly and recoiled from Rey.

“I'm sorry,” she groaned, falling to her knees in front of the droid. Shaak Ti would be disappointed (Finn would be, too), since Rey was reduced to taking her anger out on a tiny droid. Her gaze softened. “I only want to make sure my friend Finn is safe. And your Poe.”

_My Poe? My Poe safe?_

“I hope.”

_Friend Finn and My Poe save Friend L'ulo_ , the droid explained. It rolled forward and nudged Rey gently. _My Poe said not to tell anyone._

She patted its head. “I suppose I can't fault you for loyalty.”

After talking with BB-8, Rey stalked out of the quarters and paced in the corridors, repeatedly clicking her commlink and saying Finn's name. His commlink was turned off, so he never answered. She continued pacing, and BB-8 rolled out of the room, following her footsteps.

_Is Friend Rey okay_ , the droid chirped, looking up at her.

“I'm worried,” she admitted. Between Finn's disappearance and her haunting dreams of darkness, Rey was filled with a mixture of anger and fear—two emotions that Rey, as a Jedi Knight, should be able to control. Shaak Ti had always advised her to repress emotions she couldn't control lest those emotions consume her. But Rey refused to repress her emotions. She couldn't control them either, and she went through life constantly feeling like a ticking detonator.

Finn always made managing her feelings easier. Around Finn, the knotted tension of anger that always settled in her stomach was alleviated. Around Finn, Rey could ignore the emotions she couldn't control. Around Finn, Rey felt like the Jedi she was meant to be.

“Testor seems disappointed that her audience is gone,” Snap's voice startled Rey out of her reverie, “She loves showing off.” He skidded to a stop and observed Rey. “Is everything okay?”

“No.”

“What's wrong? Is it…Jedi problems? Or, uh, problems with the Force?”

“Huh?” Rey looked up. Snap was standing awkwardly in the middle of the corridor, watching her. Despite his towering height and stocky build, he looked small in the bright wash of white lights from the _Tantive IV._

He scratched at his scraggly black beard. “Force problems, y'know? Aren't there bad feelings in the air or some ominous warning to heed?”

Rey laughed, “No, I don't think it works like that.”

“Oh. I thought you guys had magic skills.”

“We're not sorcerers. And there are no skills required to touch the Force. Some people are just born more sensitive to its pull than others.”

“ _I_ could touch the Force, then?” asked Snap.

Rey shrugged. “If you wanted to, I suppose. And with lots of practice and study.”

Nodding, Snap leaned against the corridor wall and crossed his arms. “So why are you out here, depriving Jess of a much-deserved audience, if there are no spirits whispering about danger to you?”

Rey gestured to the captain's quarters where the door was ajar. “Apparently there was a secret rescue mission.”

Snap stared at the empty room before the realization dawned on him. He gaped at the room, staring between it and Rey, before fishing a commlink out of his pocket. Before Rey could ask what he was doing, Snap was already pressing the button and speaking into the device. “Wexley to Kun. Wexley to Kun. Code: Rancor.”

Karé's husky voice sounded back, “Snap? Snap, I don't remember all of these ridiculous codes. Is rancor worse than gundark?”

“Rancor is the very worst, Karé.”

“If this is another trick—”

“Karé, Poe isn't on board.”

There was a moment's pause before Karé's usually low-toned voice acquired a shrill note on the other line, “What do you mean? Where is he? It's not like he just stepped outside for some fresh air, Snap.”

“He and Finn went to save L'ulo.”

Karé swore on the other end, but Snap retained his calm demeanor. Rey was envious of how easy it was for Snap to remain nonchalant in the face of an emergency. Rey struggled with her emotions, but Snap seemed naturally unperturbed. Maybe he _would_ make a good Jedi.

While Snap relayed the situation to Karé, Rey continued to pace down the corridors, fiddling with her commlink.

Her wandering legs, as if on autopilot, brought her back to the bridge. BB-8 trundled after her, chirping about how excited it was to reach Alderaan and how much the droid missed Poe Dameron. Rey was amazed at the droid's overzealousness and touched by its commitment to the senator. Rey was unable to recall a time in her life when she missed another person so bad that it ached.

Sure, she missed Finn. If Rey was a ship, Finn would be the coolant systems for the ship's engines. He helped quell the tumultuous storm that was her emotions and cooled her down; when she needed fired up, he was there cheering her on with his toothy grins and throaty laughter. Rey missed Finn like anyone would miss a necessary component in their life, but she didn't ache with longing over his absence. She definitely didn't miss Finn the way BB-8 missed Poe. The droid's entire circuitry appeared to be overloaded with longing.

She stepped into the bridge and slid into Snap's empty chair. Jessika was at the controls, and her captain log book was perched on her knees as she bent over and scribbled in it. If she heard the news about Finn and Poe's rescue mission, she didn't show it. Every so often, Jessika bit her lip in concentration, and her entire face would scrunch up.

“How do you do it?” asked Rey suddenly.

Jessika closed her book and looked over, unperturbed. “What?”

“Remain calm in pressing situations.”

Jessika grinned. Her smiles reminded Rey of the budding flowers she collected in her room back on Coruscant. “You're a Jedi. You don't need help staying calm. When we were boarded, you were nothing but calm—even in the face of danger.”

“Danger doesn't scare me,” said Rey with a shrug of her shoulder, “I trained my whole life to fight.”

“What does scare you?” Jessika asked.

“Abandonment,” admitted Rey in a whisper, “Emotions.”

Wordlessly, Jessika reached over and grabbed Rey's hand. Her fingers were small and delicate, and her skin was soft—a perfect juxtaposition to Rey's battle-worn calloused fingers. Jessika's hands were also different from Finn's. When Rey held Finn's hand, it was because they were running for their lives. There was no running at the moment. Just a serene silence that fell between them.

* * *

 “Let's do it,” Finn said, clambering back into the main hold where L'ulo, Mirri, and Aiya were gathered around Poe. L'ulo was muttering to the senator in a language Finn didn't recognize.

“Whenever you are ready, Master Jedi, we may begin,” said Mirri with a gracious sweep of her arm. Her clothes were raggedy from her time spent in captivity, but Finn could recognize the long flowing brown robes that marked her as a Dathomirian priestess. Beneath the robes, she wore a long loose-fitting gown of deep crimson that reminded Finn of the red glow of Dathomir's surface.

He had been there once with Master Windu when he was younger, and he hadn't liked it. It was like a shadow world filled with murky swamps and jagged mountains. There was something in the depths of the planet that allowed the witches on Dathomir, the Nightsisters, to tap into their arcane magical powers. The planet was filled with anomalies that made Finn's head spin.

“Are you a Nightsister?” asked Finn suddenly.

“No,” Mirri said, “I studied with them briefly. Being a Nightsister is a privilege reserved only for Dathomirian women. Humans cannot handle the magical ichor that flows beneath the planet's surface. I told you nothing but the truth when I said I am a priestess.”

Apprehension flooded Finn. He should have asked Depa more questions about the bonding ritual, but he'd been too worried about Poe and about his own doubts in the Force to even consider that the priestess could have some malicious agenda of her own. Regardless, Finn knew there were no other options; he promised Poe that no one would get hurt. He promised Poe protection. He had to at least try this if it meant keeping his promise.

Fighting through the apprehension, Finn took a step closer to Mirri. “Let's begin.”

Mirri instructed Finn to grab Poe's hand, which was limp and clammy in his grip. Meanwhile, she grabbed at the flowing sleeve of her robe and yanked, tearing a thin strip of the material. With sure hands, she wrapped the strip of cloth around Finn and Poe's entwined hands and tied it around them.

“Close your eyes,” she said, “and breathe. Clear your mind of all distractions. Think only of this. When you hear me switch back to Basic, that is your cue to repeat what I say.”

Finn followed suit. Closing his eyes, he focused on the feeling of Poe's hand in his. Concentrated on the threads of the Force that wove around both him and Poe. The threads seemed to tighten around their entwined hands and thrummed with a wild energy that reminded Finn of his lightsaber and the way his body responded when he embraced Vaapad in combat.

Mirri began to chant in a strange language that was harsh with a pulsating musical quality to it. The weavings of the Force danced around them, synchronizing with Mirri's words. Finn felt like his body was being compressed against Poe's. He felt like he was on a collision course, and his heart beat faster as he neared the impact zone.

* * *

 Poe was standing on a barren moon surrounded by dust and ashes. Shadows loomed in the horizon. He was alone, but he felt a phantom grip on the back of his neck. He heard lewd whispers that made the hairs on the nape of his neck stand up; the whispers were like a memory from a different life. Startled, Poe gasped and jumped away from the phantom hands that were grabbing him and choking him.

He tried to scream for help, but his voice was gone.

Out from the shadows, a figure appeared, ringed with a thin halo of light that had a blinding celestial quality to it. Poe fell to his knees before it. Standing in front of him was a Jedi. An angel. His protector. _Finn_.

Desperately, Poe tried to say Finn's name, but he could do nothing but choke and gasp for breath. He wanted to beg Finn to save him.

From another lifetime, Poe could remember a Chalactan Jedi Master asking him if he thought he deserved to be saved. Poe still didn't have an answer for her, but the way Finn looked at Poe made him believe he deserved salvation.

“I give you my body for protection,” Finn said in a voice that sounded far away. “Until all the stars in the galaxy die, it is yours.”

Then, without warning, Finn was gone. His luminous body flickered out.

Poe was alone on the ashen moon, watching the shadows roll in like a thunderstorm. He thought he could see a vast forest within the darkness and thought he could hear buzzing echoes inviting him into the forest. Coaxing him to actively seek out the darkness.

He couldn't move.

Finn was gone, but Poe thought he could still feel his presence hovering around the moon from another plane of existence.

Poe fell to the ground. Crashed. And the darkness swallowed him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your support and patience.
> 
> The beginning quote is from Matthew Stover's Shatterpoint, which inspired this story.


	8. Alderaan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I dreamt you didn't come for me,” admitted Poe in a low voice. Even though they were alone, Poe was afraid of speaking louder. He didn't want anyone to hear about how weak he was. “You didn't save me.”
> 
> Finn pushed a curl back from where it hung limply on his forehead. “I will always save you, Poe.”

_"Loyalties are formed in your heart, not born in you. Emotion can't be ruled_." -Qui-Gon Jinn

From space, Alderaan was an orb of swirling blues, greens, and whites that resembled a tranquil painting. When the commandeered shuttle entered the atmosphere, Finn was surprised to see how much of that tranquility was painted on the landscape. He had been to planets that looked like gems only to be tricked by the harsh and unforgiving terrain of the world. The glowing olive color of Felucia flashed in his mind. From space, Felucia had looked like one of the fruits native to Naboo, but the surface had been a fetid and humid landscape filled with murky browns and toxic greens and blues.

Alderaan was stunning. The shuttle coasted over verdant green fields and mountains quilted with crystal white snow as the vehicle made its way to Aldera, the planet's capital city. L'ulo entered the security code into the transmission that allowed them access to the palace's hangar. The palace itself was a testament to the elegant architecture of Alderaan.

The Royal Palace blended in with the surrounding mountains with its sleek exterior and towers that resembled the jagged mountain peaks. Alderaan's afternoon sun washed the palace in a silvery-blue glow that seemed to sparkle. The soft light radiated out to the city and the tiny villages on the outskirts of Aldera. To the south of the palace were the lazily lapping waters of the River Wuitho, which cut through the city and helped reflect the silvery-blue glow of the city's architecture.

When they entered the hangar of the Royal Palace, the _Tantive IV_ was already docked. L'ulo sent out a transmission requesting medical assistance before shutting down the ship's controls once he had settled it onto the landing dock.

Finn glanced over at Poe who was still unconscious and buried beneath the small pile of jackets, which helped insulate his body. He looked small and vulnerable, and Finn couldn't stop thinking of how he had looked when Finn found him at the mercy of the slave boss. His vacant eyes haunted Finn, and the way he had whispered Finn's name like a lifeline broke his heart.

Whether Mirri's bonding ritual worked, Finn had no idea. Poe’s condition was neither better nor worse; however, he had stopped jolting awake to gasp for breath, and his body temperature, while still lower than it should be, was stabilized. He laid a hand on Poe's forehead and reached out to the Force, trying to channel some semblance of heat into the other man's body. It wasn't much, but it had been substantial enough to keep Poe alive on their journey.

“He will be okay,” Mirri assured Finn, placing a hand on his arm. “You are bonded now. Your strength is his. And his, yours.”

“Thank you, Mirri.”

“You saved us all from a lifetime of bondage, Master Jedi,” she said, “I am indebted to you.”

Finn shook his head and gestured to Poe. “Consider the debt paid.”

Mirri's face was worn and creased with wrinkles that made her expression look melancholic. “I saved one life. You have saved dozens. I would not consider that much of a payment.”

“You can't put any price on life,” said Finn, “Under the Force, every life is worth the same.”

Mirri peered skeptically at him. “Even the lives of those who pass through the penumbra of darkness? What are those lives worth, Master Jedi?”

Finn stared back. The answer was lost on him. Was a Sith's life equal to the life of one of the young Rodian boys he had saved? What about the slavers' lives? Finn had slaughtered the slave master with no remorse. What value did his life have under the Force? Finn wanted to rationalize that any man who could put a price on another human’s life did not deserve his. However, the Force and the Jedi did not see shades of gray in terms of morality. A Jedi’s life was a balancing act in which death and birth were natural parts of the cycle. Finn had broken the cycle; he made a call that wasn't his to make. No Jedi had the right to deal out death in judgement, but Finn had done so.

Thankfully, he was spared having to answer Mirri. A medical team entered the shuttle with a stretcher for Poe. Other team members helped coax the rescued captives out from the lower deck with promises of a warm meal, a hot shower, and safety. Mirri went with them, casting a lingering gaze at Finn as she exited, and soon Finn and L’ulo were left alone on the shuttle. Finn watched the retreating form of the stretcher exit the hangar. Even as it disappeared, he could feel a solid thread linking him to Poe and letting him know the man was alive.

Finn yearned to follow after the medical team, but there was little he could do for Poe. In the distance, he could see BB-8 rolling down the ramp of the _Tantive IV_ and trundling after Poe, squealing incessantly. Even though he didn't speak binary, Finn imagined the droid was telling the medics to be careful with Poe and keep him safe. Poe's wellbeing seemed to be the primary concern of the tiny astromech droid. It had become the primary concern of Finn.

“Finn, what happened?” Rey stood in the midst of the hangar, arms crossed, and Finn diverted his attention from the droid to his friend. Her face was unreadable, but her gaze had the intensity of a sandstorm.

L'ulo shrugged at Finn and mumbled something about making sure the rest of the crew was okay before slipping out of the shuttle. Finn followed him down the docking ramp to stand before Rey.

“Are you mad?”

“Mad?” Rey sounded incredulous. “Finn, I'm upset. We are a team. And you just left. Finn, you abandoned me.”

Rey had been abandoned in a trading outpost on Jakku in the same way Finn had been abandoned in a Coruscanti alley. He felt ashamed and reached out to grab Rey's hand. Begrudgingly, she let him grasp her hand.

“Rey, I didn't abandon you. It was a spur-of-the-moment rescue mission. I didn't abandon you. Rey, I came back.”

“But, Finn, what if one day you don’t?”

He scoffed, “I'm not going to abandon the Jedi Order.”

Rey squeezed his hand as if in admonishment. “Not _that_. Finn, what if you don't come back? At all?”

It dawned on Finn. Quickly, he released Rey's hand to pull her into a tight hug. She tensed up for a moment before relaxing into the embrace. Her head dipped onto his shoulder to rest, and she let out a shaky breath that tickled his neck.

“I don't know what I'd do if you died, Finn,” she continued. “I feel so alone at times, but you make everything—well, not so lonely. Without you, I don't think I'd make a very good Jedi.”

Finn ran a hand up her back to stroke absently at her hair. One of her three buns had broken free, and the brown strands of her hair hung down the back of her neck. “Are you kidding me? Rey, you are a good Jedi—with or without me.”

“It doesn’t feel that way. I-it feels like something has woken up inside me. It has nothing to do with the darkness or my dreams. It's…doubt, I think. Questioning the Order. Finn, we just ran into slavers. We're keepers of peace, and we aren't authorized to dismantle that horrific institution. It feels like we're just puppets for the bureaucrats.”

“I feel the same way,” admitted Finn in a whisper. “We were raised to fight for peace, but we turn our backs on so much pain in the galaxy. Rey, I killed the slave boss on the ship. I killed him, and I don't regret it.”

Rey pulled back to look into his eyes. Her own eyes were always fierce and determined, but they softened. “You didn't enjoy it, did you? Because Vaapad—”

“Vaapad requires a certain amount of…blood fever, Master Windu calls it. It doesn't mean I am falling into darkness,” explained Finn. However, even now as he thought of the way his lightsaber had felt when he drove it through the slave boss, he felt a sense of satisfaction, but he didn't tell Rey. Instead he said, “It was justice.”

“Don't leave like that again, Finn. We're a team. I need you.”

“I'm sorry,” said Finn again, “I made a promise to Poe that no one would get hurt while protecting him. I couldn't break that promise.”

“A promise?” Rey blinked in surprise. “Isn't that like an attachment? A verbal attachment.”

Finn shifted uneasily under her gaze, wondering how best to tell her that he had taken that verbal attachment one step further. He had let himself be bonded with Poe. Ever since he met Poe Dameron, Finn felt like he was breaking all the rules of the Jedi. Rey's words about being puppets to the bureaucrats flitted through his mind along with Poe's forlorn comment about the democracy of the Republic being bought and paid for. If that was the case, then the Jedi were allowing themselves to be pawns for a system fueled by corporate interests and greed.

“We've received a transmission from Jedi Master Windu,” Snap called over to them as he was unloading the _Tantive IV._ Despite the tumultuous journey, he seemed cheery.

Finn reached out to give Rey's hand a squeeze before he left. She grinned at the wordless apology. The two of them had said all that needed to be said between them. They could no longer dwell on the past or dwell on their doubts. It was not the Jedi way.

* * *

 

As Finn departed the hangar and boarded the _Tantive IV_ , Jessika sauntered down the landing ramp. She was still wearing her pearl-colored captain's uniform that marked her as the captain of the Alderaanian consular ship. Her hair was no longer pulled back, and it cascaded past her shoulders in disheveled tangles; it looked as though she had been running her hands through her hair.

“I can show you to your room,” she said.

Rey motioned to the _Tantive_. “I should probably wait for Finn.”

Jessika rolled her eyes. “You look dead on your feet. You need rest. In the Academy, if you were on flight duty for eleven hours, then you were grounded for the same period of time. One hour of rest for every hour of duty.”

“This isn't the Academy.”

“It's not the Jedi Temple either,” said Jessika, closing the distance between them. “You can't just meditate and carry on as if that counts as rest. When a ship is out of fuel, you don't push on hoping you make it to your destination: you stop, and you fuel up.”

Rey sighed and acquiesced.

Grinning, Jessika reached out and grabbed her hand, leading her out of the hangar and into the high-vaulted corridors of the Royal Palace. Large columns that lined the walls had intricate carvings on them of people and animals. Lighting rods were affixed on the walls, which emanated a dull sapphire. Rey felt like she was wandering through hyperspace.

“You don't have to hold my hand,” said Rey weakly, but Jessika ignored her, and Rey made no move to pull out of her grasp as she hurried after her. Jess had a firm and steady grip, and Rey felt like she was the _Tantive IV_ , caught in a tractor beam, being guided listlessly to some unknown location.

She was grateful for the guidance because the palace was overwhelming. One of the hallways they turned down had a large aquarium built into the wall, and another hallway opened up into a courtyard; vines crawled into the palace from the courtyard, and there were plants and shrubs of every shape and color.

“You need food too,” Jess told her, “I can sneak down to the kitchens and find you something.”

Rey wanted to argue, but pushed the urge away. She felt breathless. Besides, she doubted Jessika would listen to her protests anyway. She was a captain and was used to obedience—especially when it concerned the wellbeing of her crew and passengers. “I guess we can negotiate….”

Jessika laughed, “You sound like Poe when he starts losing at strip sabacc.”

“Strip sabacc?” spluttered Rey, feeling her face flush.

Back at the Temple, Rey had kissed Rose Tico, but their kisses had always been exploratory and playful. There had never been any sexual exchanges. The only naked body Rey ever encountered was her own.

“Well, yeah….” Jessika smiled coyly. “Even if you're not a gambler, you can make sabacc interesting. Unless you're Poe. Then you're terrible at it and have to spend the whole game getting made fun of. We had to amend the rules several times, so he could keep his dignity a bit longer.”

Rey tried to imagine a group of friends stripping over a game and laughing over it, but she couldn't without feeling her face flush with embarrassment. She could never sit at a table and start taking her clothes off in front of Finn. Modesty was part of the Jedi lifestyle. Shaak Ti always told her that the body was no different than a temple; it was a hallowed secret that deserved respect and reverence. Strip sabacc sounded too casual of an activity for something that was sacred.

Clearing her throat, Rey changed the subject, hoping the other woman wouldn't notice her discomfort, “I hope Senator Dameron will be alright.”

“Poe will be fine,” Jessika said nonchalantly, “He's a fighter, and he's been in some nasty scrapes before. Besides, I'm pretty sure Poe is the luckiest bastard in the world.”

Rey snorted, “Luck doesn't exist.”

“Then how do you explain that at the same time an assassination attempt on his life was being initiated, a Jedi Knight barrels into his office and saves his life?”

“The Force weaves as the Force wills,” recited Rey.

“No higher power and no force of energy can account for _everything_ in the galaxy. And even if it does, paths change. That's where luck comes in.”

Jessika led Rey up a spiral staircase made of polished marble. Their boots slapped on the stone as they ascended, and the noise echoed in a way that reminded Rey of music. Back at the Temple, she always tinkered with different electronics and had fixed up on old radio. The noises helped quell the loneliness, and Rey liked to think that her plants enjoyed the music too. She wondered what kind of music Jessika listened to. Did she and her friends listen to tunes when they played sabacc? Did they dance? Rey had tried to get Finn to dance with her, but he was clumsy. Rey wondered if Jessika knew how to dance. She wondered what kind of life was possible outside of the Jedi Order.

They turned a final corner, and Jessika punched in a series of numbers on a keypad. The door slid open with a pneumatic hiss, revealing an enormous and ostentatious room, which was the antithesis of the modest quarters of the Jedi Temple that Rey was familiar with. A large canopy bed stood in the middle of the room, covered in satin sheets and several fluffy pillows. But Rey hardly noticed the intricate craftsmanship of the furniture or the ornate paintings that hung from the walls. Instead, her eyes were drawn to the powder blue curtains that hung from the tall windows and bordered the glass door, which led to a terrace.

“So much green,” gasped Rey, rushing over to pull open the door.

The smell of nature engulfed Rey as she stepped onto the terrace, which overlooked the River Wuitho. The river looked like a series of blue stitches on a green quilt. She heard the river slap along rocks and could smell fresh wet soil, which made Rey long for her plants back on Coruscant.

“It's home,” said Jessika who had followed her onto the terrace. She leaned casually against the sleek balustrade. “Where are you from?”

Rey shrugged. “Jakku, I think. My parents abandoned me when I was young, before the Jedi found me, so I'm not quite sure.”

Smiling sympathetically at her, Jessika slid her hand along the balustrade and laid hers atop of Rey's. Rey ducked her head to hide her blush. It felt like, for the first time, someone saw Rey as more than a Jedi. Someone, besides Finn, saw Rey as a person.

Rey thought of Rose Tico and Shaak Ti's admonishments about attachment. Quickly, Rey pulled her hand away and cleared her throat, “Uh… I was promised food?”

“I'll bring you a feast,” Jessika said with a grin. “Gotta fuel you up.”

* * *

 

The cockpit of the _Tantive IV_ felt claustrophobic to Finn. He sat in the captain's seat, staring at the holoprojected form of Mace Windu. He had just finished giving him the mission report, explaining the boarding party of slavers, the impulsive decision to rescue L'ulo, and the murder of the slave boss to keep Poe safe. Finn left out the part about the Dathomirian bonding ritual, which was a secret between him and Depa.

“For a moment, I think I enjoyed striking him down,” Finn explained after he wrapped up his report. Even though he assured Rey earlier that the feeling was routine when using Vaapad, he needed Master Windu's assurance.

“Embracing Vaapad means embracing that blood fever,” said Mace, “As long as you release it once you sheathe your saber, you needn't worry, Finn.”

“It's a bit maddening, isn't it?” asked Finn, staring down at his hands, “Embracing those emotions and then forcing them out. How do you stay sane?”

“Practice.” Mace frowned. Even though he was a projected transmission, it was like he was present with Finn and seeing right through him. “Finn, are you sure you are okay? We can pull you out of there if you feel you are losing your head.”

“No,” exclaimed Finn, head snapping back up and forcing him to catch his master's concerned gaze. “I'm okay. Just unsettled. The slavers—”

Mace sighed. For a split second, his calm demeanor dissipated, and Finn could see the tension in his body: his tightened shoulders and the clench of his jaw. “I wish the Jedi could do more about slavery, Finn. I do not like the pain any more than you do. Sometimes, I hear about raids on my homeworld. Slavers invade Haruun Kal to capture unsuspecting Korunnai. Since Korunnai are Force-sensitive, they find weak ones to prey on. Ones they can raise to be obedient and become pets for them. Ones they can turn into soldiers or some other profitable asset.”

“Why can't we do anything for them?” asked Finn. His mind flashed with images of the prison block filled with slaves. Of Poe's glassy gaze as he stared up at Finn from the bed and said his name. _I knew you'd come_ , Poe said.

“What would you have us do, Finn? Dismantling slavery will mean crime syndicates across the galaxy will lose profits. There will be anarchy. The Hutts profit off of slavery, and they are very influential. Challenging them could mean a civil war. Finn, we cannot let the Republic fracture. We have both sensed the impending darkness. We can't fight two different wars.”

Finn knew his master had a point. The Jedi could not just march onto Outer Rim planets to free slaves. They didn't have the numbers to do so or the influence in those territories.

“There has to be a solution,” pleaded Finn.

“Our only hope lies in our democracy. The Senate can choose to take action: sanctions or embargos or other peaceful means. I can mention it to Chancellor Valorum, so he can schedule a vote that can take place once sessions resume.”

Finn nodded. He felt defeated, but knew there was no realistic alternative. The Jedi had to place their faith in democracy. Finn remembered what Poe had said about the bureaucrats being bought and paid for. He wondered if that was true.

“Keep me updated on Senator Dameron's recovery,” Mace said. “May the Force be with you.”

The image of Mace Windu flickered and disappeared, leaving Finn alone with his thoughts, which had become a very dangerous thing.

* * *

 

Poe couldn't move. His body felt like jelly. He could do nothing but lay in the bed and watch the paunchy slaver stand over him, grinning lecherously and commenting on how much money Poe would make him. How he couldn't wait to test out the product. Then his hands were on Poe, caressing his cheek, running a thumb over his lips, and trailing his fingers down the length of Poe's body. The slaver poked at his hipbone and explained that was where the slave brand would go when the product test was over. Poe wanted to shrink back from the touch, but he couldn't move.

He kept glancing to the door, expecting to see Finn barrel in and save him.

But Finn never came.

Instead, the slaver’s hands were on him, tugging his clothes off. Grabbing at him. Marking him.

Poe screamed and thrashed, trying to wriggle off the bed. Frantically, he started mumbling Finn's name, hoping the Jedi would materialize and save him.

“You promised!” cried Poe.

A hand was pressed on his chest, holding him down. He tried to fight it, but it was a futile effort; his energy was spent. Another hand was in his hair, stroking.

“Poe, you're okay,” a familiar voice whispered, “I'm here, Poe.”

“Finn,” gasped Poe.

His eyes snapped open. He was laying in a bed in a room with blinding white lights. Equally bright sunlight flooded in from a window to his left, which revealed snow-capped mountains in the distance. Alderaan. He was home. He was in the medbay of the palace.

Finn stood over him with one hand on his chest and another still absently petting his hair. With the lights washing over him, Finn looked like an angel in the stories his mother told him when he was a child.

“Finn,” Poe whispered. Discovering he could move his body, he lifted his arm up to lay his hand over Finn's, which rested on his chest right over his heart. “You're here.”

“You're safe, Poe,” Finn assured him. His fingers were still in Poe's hair, stroking absently. “I made you a promise, and I don't intend to break it.”

Poe ran his hand over Finn's. Finn's skin was smooth and soft, and Poe set to work trying to memorize the length of his fingers and the feel of his knuckles. These were the hands that carried him to safety. That held him tight as they swung through the traffic of Coruscant. These were the hands that reached out to the Force, that took lives while holding a lightsaber. These were the hands that saved him.

“I dreamt you didn't come for me,” admitted Poe in a low voice. Even though they were alone, Poe was afraid of speaking louder. He didn't want anyone to hear about how weak he was. “You didn't save me.”

Finn pushed a curl back from where it hung limply on his forehead. “I will always save you, Poe.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Poe squeezed Finn's hand. “I'd save you, too, y'know? If you ever needed me to, I promise I would save you right back.”

After a few moments of silence, Finn disentangled his hand from Poe and excused himself to get the medical staff, so they could check up on him. Reluctantly, Poe let Finn leave. Once the Jedi exited the medbay, he heard a familiar chirping.

“BB-8,” Poe exclaimed, forcing himself in a sitting position, which afforded him a better view of his droid rolling forward. “I missed you, pal.”

_Poe safe?_

“I am. Finn saved me.”

BB-8 bobbed back and forth on the ground, chanting, _Finn save Poe. Finn save Poe. Finn save Poe_.

Chuckling, Poe motioned for BB-8 to stay still, and he reached out to pat the droid's head, which elicited a satisfied series of beeps from it. As Poe stroked the droid's head, he thought about the way Finn's hand had felt in his hair. It felt like a very intimate moment, and Poe wished he could have stretched that moment of bliss out into infinity.

Part of him knew he shouldn't think that way about Finn. Finn was a Jedi and was devoted to the Order. But Poe felt safe around Finn. He felt…hopeful. Often, Poe found himself questioning the Republic; he was always surrounded by schemers and liars, but Finn gave Poe hope that the entire system wasn't corrupted. He gave Poe hope that he could enact meaningful change.

Finn returned with the medical team who checked out Poe's vitals. Even though he was stable, they advised him that he would have to stay overnight.

“Mind if I stay with you?” Finn asked when the medics left. “Keep you company.”

“I don't want to be a burden,” protested Poe.

Finn smiled and scooted a chair close to the bed. “It's not a burden. Besides, I have to protect you.”

“Well,” stammered Poe, “you're pretty far away on that chair. It might be easier to protect me from the bed here. You could share the bed with me. For protection.”

Finn nodded and abandoned the chair. “If it's for your safety….”

“Absolutely,” Poe croaked, his mouth dry.

His mind raced as he wriggled over to make room for Finn. He wasn't lying exactly. Finn made him feel safe, and Poe was afraid to fall into a nightmare where Finn wasn't there. Where Finn didn't save him. It was only rational to conclude that Finn being so close to him might keep those nightmares at bay.

Slowly, Finn climbed into the bed beside Poe. The two of them were able to lay comfortably beside each other, their shoulders touching. Poe itched to be closer to Finn, but repressed the urge. They were already wading into dangerous territory.

“I feel very safe,” whispered Poe. “Thank you, Finn.”

“Anything I can do for you?”

“C-can you play with my hair?” Poe asked. “I just—it was calming.”

Finn rolled over onto his side and buried his hand in Poe's curls. At the touch, Poe's scalp tingled, and he felt his body shiver. Finn's ministrations were slow and deliberate and gentle. His hand carding through Poe's hair helped Poe forget the feeling of the slaver's hands on him. Poe wished he could force that memory out of his mind and replace it with this moment.

“I'm not ready to talk about it,” muttered Poe.

“You don't have to,” assured Finn, gently combing out a tangle in his hair.

“I want to...eventually. With you.”

“Whenever you're ready,” Finn said softly. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind Poe's ear. “I have all the time in the galaxy.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback and comments and kudos. Feel free to hit me up on my tumblr: huttslut.


	9. Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glancing at Finn, Poe thought he looked like the sun in the light of the dawn. And even though the story of Ulic and Nomi ended in tragedy, Poe thought it was a beautiful tale of two people in love who saved each other over and over. Even when Nomi severed Ulic's connection to the Force, she had done it to keep him from touching the darkness any longer. It was this act of love that saved him from the monster he had become.
> 
> One day, Poe would tell Finn the story of Ulic Qel-Droma and Nomi Sunrider. He would tell Finn that within the unfolding tragedies of the world, there would always be love. His mother believed in that until her dying breath. Poe would believe too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the month-long wait. I had some personal stuff going on. Thanks for being patient. As always, you can contact me on my tumblr: huttslut

_"Together, we have suffered a great disaster, and now comes a time for healing. War has spanned the galaxy, but now it is over. We can never forget the dead—but we must also not forget the future. We must trust in the Force. As long as there are Jedi Knights, there is hope."_ \--Nomi Sunrider

When Poe awoke again, he was greeted by the orange dawn trickling in through the window. The tendrils of light crawled around the room, illuminating the pearly white walls of the medical wing and painting saturated colors upon the wall that reminded Poe of the beautiful murals lining the Royal Palace's corridor. Those paintings paled in comparison to the mural of sunlight around him especially when Poe looked to his side and saw the creative fingers of the dawn dance over Finn's body.

Finn was still asleep, his body rigid on the bed beside Poe, with his arms clasped to his side as though he slept with the expectation to be awoken to an attack. Finn slept like he was preparing himself to spring into action, but his body didn't seem to hold the tension that came with anticipation. Poe wondered if Jedi meditation made one immune to the feeling of anticipation before a fight. The Jedi already expected those in the Order to repress their emotions. What was one more?

Trying not to wake Finn, Poe carefully squirmed around in the bed to sit up properly against the pile of pillows. His body didn't feel as sore or heavy as it had. The light of the dawning sun seemed to bring with it the promise of a brighter future, and Poe was thankful he had been awake to witness the twirling solar tendrils twist about the room as it left a temporary mural for him to see. It was as if Poe's body had already acclimated to Alderaanian time. A reminder that this was his home.

He heard a light pattering of feet pass by his room, but ignored it, not wanting to needlessly bother the medical staff. Instead, he twisted his body a little to stare at the sleeping Jedi beside him. The sunlight on Finn's face moved like the dancers from one of the Coruscanti theaters. The dancers' movements had comprised of feathery pirouettes and gentle glides across the stage as the dancers interpreted one of Poe's favorite stories.

The Alderaanian story “The Sun and the Stars” was one his mother would tell him when they laid on the front lawn and looked up at the stars together. It was about the Alderaanian Ulic Qel-Droma and Nomi Sunrider, Jedi lovers. Their destinies had been interwoven on Onderon when the threat of the Sith cult, the Naddists, surfaced. It was Nomi who led an attack upon the walled city of Iziz to save Ulic Qel-Droma. Through the war, Ulic and Nomi would go on to save each other. But with all wars, there was a desperation from the fighters to see it end.

In order to take down the Sith, Ulic infiltrated the Dark Side. But it consumed him. He cast aside his Jedi title and donned the identity of a Sith Lord. Nomi had loved Ulic, but it was by her hand that she severed him from the Force, imprisoning him in a wall of light. A fortress where he would be blocked from the Force for eternity.

In the end, the sun consumed her stars.

The sun did not die, but continued to glow in the deep of space. Nomi ended the Sith War and became Grand Master of the Jedi Council. Because even in darkness, the light had to shine—so his mother told him. She would tousle his hair when the story was over and coo that he was “her sun and stars.” That his eyes were made of sunshine.

Whenever Poe had the opportunity to watch the story unfold—through an opera, a ballet, or a theatrical production—he would attend. His mother’s light had flickered out, but the story always made him feel like he could still see her glow.

Glancing at Finn, Poe thought he looked like the sun in the light of the dawn. And even though the story of Ulic and Nomi ended in tragedy, Poe thought it was a beautiful tale of two people in love who saved each other over and over. Even when Nomi severed Ulic's connection to the Force, she had done it to keep him from touching the darkness any longer. It was this act of love that saved him from the monster he had become.

One day, Poe would tell Finn the story of Ulic Qel-Droma and Nomi Sunrider. He would tell Finn that within the unfolding tragedies of the world, there would always be love. His mother believed in that until her dying breath. Poe would believe too.

The thought of tragedy brought images of the slavers to his mind. The bedchamber. The lewd words and violating touches. The sight of Finn barreling into the room and cutting down the slave boss. Finn's arms around him as he carried him to safety.

“Poe Dameron.” A voice forced him from the flashback. “Here, I thought I'd seen the last of you when you were done in the Royal Navy.”

He smirked, “You ain't getting rid of me that easy, Doc.”

Doctor Kalonia had entered the room, a tall woman whose stern face broached no nonsense, but whom Poe knew as friendly beneath her strict professional exterior. She wore a gray smock and armband that marked her as a physician among the medical staff. It had only been a few years since Poe had last seen her, but time had marked them both. Her face was lined with age, and her dark hair was graying in places. And Poe—

“You look terrible,” Dr. Kalonia fussed, hustling over to him. She placed gentle hands on his forehead to begin a quick evaluation, murmuring under her breath. “Your temperature is back to normal. Pupils look good. Your coloring is still off, though. Probably dehydration. No doubt from everything we had to flush out of your system.”

“Like what?”

“Imobilin, which is a paralytic, euphoriants, some sedatives,” Dr. Kalonia listed them off before eyeing Poe adamantly, “I hope, when Senate sessions resume, you fight for stricter pharmaceutical regulations. Careless drug mixing like what was in your body… I'm surprised the drug interactions alone didn't kill you.”

Poe wanted to assure her that the drugs had not been a voluntary choice of his, but another part of him wasn't quite ready to admit that aloud. Instead, he grinned. “Well, I did always want to be the pharmaceutical poster boy of the galaxy. Reckon they’ll want me to do advertisements?”

Dr. Kalonia was not amused. “I think the pharmaceutical lobbyists would want you to keep quiet and not fight for more stringent regulations. Tread carefully, Poe. None of your usual recklessness.”

“Recklessness usually implies failure,” said Poe, “I prefer the term ‘calculated chaos.’”

She shook her head and nodded at Finn's sleeping form. “I hope _he_ assuages some of your recklessness. Alderaan needs you fighting for us, Poe.”

Striding out of the room, she left Poe alone with his thoughts. Reckless or not, he would fight for Alderaan with his last breath. Even when he was tired of fighting, he would soldier on. His parents had done it; his mother had died fighting for Alderaan. Poe would do the same if that's what was demanded of him. He only wished that he hadn’t pulled others into his mess: L'ulo, Jessika, Oddy, Snap, Karé, Rey, and Finn.

* * *

 Rey hadn’t slept well. Ever since becoming aware of her mind's connection to the darkness, she had been fighting sleep. While her dreams were not always nightmares, she always had the faint feeling that someone was watching her from afar. Something seemed to be prowling her subconscious, waiting in the shadows for her. To avoid the dreams, Rey took to meditating. It wasn't nearly as refreshing as sleep, but meditation was devoid of dreams.

After Jessika had left her with a mountain of food and bade her goodnight, Rey had eaten and then snuck out of her room to explore the Royal Palace. Anything to get away from the looming threat of sleep and the watching eyes of her dreams. Unfortunately, Jessika had found her and stubbornly marched her back to her room, insisting that Rey needed sleep.

“If you were a ship, you'd be floating through space with no fuel,” Jessika snapped, “Crews die when that happens. They run out of supplies. They go mad. They attack each other. Snap told me about a crew who resorted to cannibalism.”

Rey didn't have the energy to argue with Jessika. She found she didn't really want to. Despite the captain's vehemence that Rey needed sleep, she also sounded worried, which made Rey feel guilty. Jessika didn't need added stress—especially from Rey.

“Please…sleep,” begged Jessika before Rey's bedroom door slid shut.

Rey reluctantly remained in her room the rest of the night. Instead of surrendering to the soft cotton and silk sheets of the bed, Rey wrapped a blanket around herself and wandered out to the veranda, curling up against the balcony railings. The outdoors reminded Rey of the tiny plants back at her room in the Jedi Temple, and it made her feel homesick.

Even though Coruscant wasn't her home, it was the only one she had ever known. There was no point in missing the trading outpost on Jakku or the cradling embrace of the Wookiee from her dreams.

The River Wuitho sang softly in the night, lapping at the green banks and wafting the scent of wet rocks and damp grass up to the veranda. Light mountain breezes whispered sonatas down to Rey, creating a calming symphony of the Alderaan night. In the distance, wolf-cats howled, and owls hooted mournfully.

The tranquil noises must've lulled her to sleep because she awoke hours later to the sun cresting the horizon. She was surprised that her sleep had been restful and undisturbed by nightmares. Standing up and stretching out the awkward kinks in her joints from sleeping curled up on the veranda, Rey changed her clothes and hurried out of the room, hoping she wouldn't run into Jessika Pava. No doubt the captain would insist upon accompanying her to breakfast or giving her a tour of the palace. While the gesture would be nice, Rey didn't have the time.

She needed to locate the dungeons, schedule an interrogation with the prisoners, and find Finn—although, she had a feeling her partner was in the medbay with Poe Dameron. Finn took his duties seriously, and Rey wasn't surprised that overzealousness extended to protecting the senator. When Finn did something, he put his whole heart into it. In Rey's opinion, it was a recipe for disaster; Finn would become emotionally invested. It always happened. Then when the mission was over, he would bottle up the pain of the broken attachment and keep going.

That was what Jedi did. What they had to do. They had to move forward. They were nothing more than passengers coasting along the threads of the Force, never given the luxury of stepping out of the ship.

Rey had no idea where the dungeons in the palace were located, but she found herself threading along the corridors and descending staircases at random. She had just found a small stairwell tucked away in a tiny annex when a man stepped out in front of her.

“Where you going, kid?”

His voice, sure and demanding, startled her, yet at first glance, he didn't look much like a threat. The man was older with flecks of gray peppering his dark hair. His face was handsome, but taut with age. While he wasn't wearing a uniform, just a tattered black vest over a white shirt that had seen better days, he wore a small badge on the vest, a golden upside-down triangle made of interlacing curves, that marked him as a position of authority for House Organa.

She blinked. _Kid_? Even though she was in plain Alderaanian garb, she gathered herself up, standing tall and holding the man's scrutinizing gaze. “My name is Rey. I am a Jed—”

“I didn't ask _who_ you were,” he interrupted, “I asked where you were going.”

“To interrogate the prisoners brought here yesterday.”

“No.”

Rey frowned, tamping down the anger she could feel blossoming inside her. “Excuse me?”

“I said ‘no,’” he repeated, the hint of a smug smile on his face as he studied her. “I don't care what kind of hokey religion you're part of. The attack occurred on an Alderaanian consular ship, meaning we have jurisdiction. When I'm finished with my assessment of the prisoners, then you can march in there with your magic tricks.”

“The queen—”

“I know the queen has given you leave to interrogate the prisoners. And you can. When I'm done with them.”

“You can't order me around,” snapped Rey, “The Jedi don't answer to you—whoever you are.”

“I’m Han Solo, Captain of the Queen's Guard,” the man said, “and I can order around anyone within these palace walls regardless of their religious beliefs.”

She crossed her arms, still keeping his gaze. Han Solo's eyes were a dark hazel that contained something familiar, but Rey couldn't place what. Her focus was keeping the bud of anger from growing inside her. If she lost her temper at the Royal Guard Captain, it could jeopardize the freedom she and Finn had been afforded within the palace. “I need to speak with them.”

He rolled his eyes. “Did the Force tell you that?”

“Yes,” Rey bit out, spitefully.

Captain Han Solo snorted, “I don't think that's how the Force works.”

“How would you know?”

His face hardened, and then softened again. His stare was even more intense. “What did you say your name was again?”

“Why don't you ask the Force, Captain Solo?” Rey spun on her heels and marched off. She needed Finn. She needed calm. She needed answers.

* * *

 “Are you alright, Poe?” a soft voice yanked him from his thoughts. It was a welcome interruption, though. With Finn still fast asleep at his side, Poe had laid around in bed wallowing in memories of the slaver ship. It wasn't healthy, but Finn was not awake to distract him from his misery.

He looked up to see Queen Leia Organa in the doorway. She was wearing regal robes of a flowing white material that shimmered like crystals in the light of the sun. Her gown flowed around her, in a way that reminded Poe of the Glarus Lagoons he played in as a child, as she strode into the room.

“Your Highness.” He moved to scramble out of bed to bow, but she lightly prodded him back against the pillows.

“I'm not here as your queen,” she said gently, “I'm just here as Leia.”

He nodded and watched as Leia pulled up a chair to sit beside his bed. Despite the strength she possessed, Leia looked worn. Her lips were thin and pursed, and her eyebrows were drawn together, pinched as though years of stress were finally leaving their imprint upon her.

Leia glanced at Finn's sleeping form and smiled. “I'm glad you're accepting the protection given to you.”

Poe blushed, but he didn't respond. What could he say? Any words he had to describe Finn dried up on his tongue. Words weren't enough. Poe thought of “The Sun and the Stars,” but even that wasn't a suitable descriptor.

“Poe,” Leia said, “I think you need a break.”

“What? No, Your Highness. I'm fine.” He took a deep breath. “What happened to me won't impede my ability to do my job.”

“That's the least of my concerns,” Leia told him, “I'm worried about _you_ —not your abilities. What happened to you—”

“I don't want to talk about it,” said Poe quickly, feeling his heart stutter in his chest. Images flashed in his mind. The needles. The bed. The hands on his neck. Whispers in his ear.

“You need to talk about it, Poe. If not with me, then with someone. The thoughts you have after these certain situations are corrosive. They'll eat away at you, and then I _will_ have to worry about your ability to do your job.”

Poe studied Leia's face. Sharp and soft at the same time. He had never known anyone to be able to look severe and gentle at the same time. Under her gaze, he sighed in defeat, “What would you have me do?”

She reached over to take his hand in hers. “Heal.”

Poe stared down at their entwined hands as if he could actually see the strength that flowed through them. Leia's hands were like Finn's in that they told a story. Finn's hands told stories of rescues and violence and regret for lost life. Leia's told a story of ambition, struggle, sacrifices, and weariness. Poe wondered what stories his mother's hands would tell if she were alive. He wondered which line along the queen's palm was the chapter of his mother's sacrifice.

“I don't know how,” he admitted. He had been young when his mother died. It was easier to heal at a younger age. He couldn't remember how to do it.

She gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze. “I think it's time for you to go home, Poe.”

He nodded. “I know.”

Leia smiled—a smile that did not touch her eyes—and released his hands, standing up. Her dress rippled around her like a waterfall. “Once Dr. Kalonia releases you, I will find you transport. No doubt, Kes is worried about you. It's hard to keep the news quiet when the Alderaanian senator gets death threats.”

Poe tried to laugh, but it sounded hollow. It amazed him that the queen, despite the years of suffering she endured, did not seem like a shell of a once living being. Instead, she continued to shine. He watched her stride from the room before calling her back, “L-leia? Who do you go to in order to heal?”

“In my experiences, Poe, that person usually finds me.”

* * *

 Finn's feet carried him through the corridors of the palace, past intricate tapestries and beautiful paintings, through a large room that had aquatic tanks set into the smooth stone walls, and down spiraling staircases made of marble. He hadn’t been awake long before Rey’s voice came over his comm asking him to meet her in the palace library. Thankfully, Karé Kun had just walked in the medbay to see Poe and gave him directions.

He was glad for her presence for Poe's sake as well. The man seemed troubled and drawn in on himself, and Finn didn't want him to be alone. He knew Poe had suffered through a great ordeal; he had been the one to lift his limp form from the bed and carry him out of that room. The image of Poe's glassy eyes still haunted him.

“Are you okay?” Finn had asked, waking up. Poe was sitting up in bed beside him, staring vacantly out the window.

“No,” said Poe after a time, “I don't think I am.”

“You can lie to me, if you want,” Finn told him. “If that will make you feel better.”

Honesty was a core tenet of Jedi philosophy—especially honesty about feelings. Jedi were supposed to be humble enough to admit to their vulnerabilities. But Finn thought shame was too heavily ingrained upon humans. He had secrets. Not many, but he had them. Too often he thought about who his parents were, and he lamented about why they had abandoned him on the streets of Coruscant as a child. He had misgivings about the Republic and about his ability to keep the promises he had made to Poe. None of these he would ever admit to Master Windu; Finn was too ashamed. He should know better than to hang onto the past and feelings of doubt. He should be a better Jedi.

Poe shook his head, gaze still fixated on the window. “No. I don't think that will make me feel better. Besides, there's too much between us for me to lie to you.”

“You can tell me the truth, too,” Finn said, “I won't judge you.”

“The queen says I need to heal, but I don't think I know how,” admitted Poe. He finally tore his gaze from the window to look at Finn. His eyes were a burnished amber, the color of a dying sun. “How do Jedi heal?”

Finn shrugged. “Meditation, mostly. Banishing those feelings that aren't conducive to the healing process.”

“Sounds like you guys leave a lot of wounds to fester,” Poe said with a ghost of a smile.

“Emotions can cause festering, too. That's why control is so important.”

Poe's gaze was a burning corona. “Do you have control?”

“No.” Finn swallowed, trying not to melt under the intensity of Poe's gaze. “No, I don't think I do.”

Poe smirked, “Good. Neither do I.”

Before Finn could ask what he meant, Rey’s voice crackled over his commlink, and Karé Kun entered the room. Scrabbling out of bed and casting an apologetic look at Poe, who was staring out the window again at the Alderaanian morning, Finn left the medbay to hurry to the library.

He and Rey needed to uncover the plot against Poe. Finn needed to save Poe. He had almost been too late aboard the slave ship, and he didn't want anymore trauma to befall Poe. Finn willed the Force to be merciful. Finn could handle whatever was thrown at him on his mission, but he begged the Force to spare Poe anymore tragedy.

At least, on Alderaan, Poe was safe. He would be safe while Rey and Finn rooted through old texts to find out who was behind the attack and why Sith wanted Poe Dameron in the first place. Why was Poe marked for tragedy he did not deserve?

Tragedy. Somewhere in his mind, Finn thought of the names Ulic Qel-Droma and Nomi Sunrider. He heard them like a faint echo, and he wasn't quite sure where the thought came from. Entering the library, he knew what he was looking for.

 


	10. Absolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe's voice cracked, and his heart was pounding. “I thought you said Jedi couldn't form attachments.”
> 
> “I broke the rules,” admitted Finn, looking guilty, “I broke them for you. A-and, believe me, I would do it again, but it wasn't fair to you. You never had a say in it.”
> 
> Poe frowned. Did Finn think anyone had a say in whose soul they found in the galaxy? On who they bonded with?

* * *

_“The Jedi Order's problem is Yoda. No being can wield that kind of power for centuries without becoming complacent at best or corrupt at worst. He has no idea that it's overtaken him; he no longer sees all the little cumulative evils that the Republic tolerates and fosters, from slavery to endless wars, and he never asks, 'Why are we not acting to stop this?' Live alongside corruption for too long, and you no longer notice the stench_." -Count Dooku

The archives in the Royal Palace on Alderaan were renowned for the vast repository of information they housed, which was rivalled only by the Jedi Archives on Coruscant. However, in accordance with Alderaan's mission to preserve the planet’s traditions, the digital archives were inaccessible to the public and had only been created as a contingency in case the physical texts in the archives were destroyed.

The Royal Archives still stood when Finn entered the vast circular room with its high domed ceiling and winding marble balustrades, which offered a glimpse to the upper levels. The walls were lined with curving shelves, all bursting with information contained in the books they held. Spotting Rey at a secluded table piled high with books, Finn joined her.

She was flipping through pages impatiently. Her datapad, beside her, was opened to a new notes page, but the document was empty. When she looked up from the text at Finn's arrival, Finn was startled to see how tired she looked: her eyes were red and puffy, ringed with dark lines of exhaustion.

“You haven't been up all night, have you?” asked Finn, sliding into a seat at the table.

She rubbed her eyes. “No. I wanted to stay up, but Captain Pava ordered me to get some rest.”

A smile danced on Finn's lips, and he arched a brow. “Captain's orders? Wasn't aware we were still on the _Tantive_.”

“Captain Pava could rival Master Yoda, I think. She has a way of getting people to do what she wants.”

“Master Yoda doesn't force anyone's hands,” Finn said.

“No,” sighed Rey, “I suppose not. But he still gets what he wants out of the Order.”

Finn wasn't sure what to say. Despite his criticisms of the Jedi Order, he had never thought to extend those criticisms to the wizened Jedi Master Yoda. His own master, Mace Windu, had been Yoda's apprentice and held him in high esteem. Already, Finn was questioning too much of the Jedi Code; he couldn't start questioning Master Yoda.

Quickly, he forced out his doubts to focus on the task at hand. They had to find the reason Poe was being targeted in an assassination. He had already been through too much, and Finn had promised to solve the mystery. Had promised to protect him. To save him. Two names flickered in his mind again as though they were the vestiges of a once vibrant memory. He cleared his throat. “I think we should look up information about Ulic Qel-Droma and Nomi Sunrider."

Rey's eyes were curious beneath the layers of exhaustion, but she didn't question his hunch. Between them, loyalty was blind. There was enough trust there to not require explanations. Finn knew attachments were forbidden, but he loved Rey for that.

Already Rey had amassed a great amount of books concerning Alderaanian history and politics (there were no books about Sith), so she and Finn set to work reading through them and looking for traces of those two names.

Ulic Qel-Droma had been a Jedi native to the planet Alderaan who had been involved in a risky plot to infiltrate a dark side cult, the Krath, wreaking havoc throughout the galaxy. Ulic was subsequently poisoned by the dark side, and Nomi Sunrider, his lover, was forced to sever his connection to the Force. Severing Ulic had been the hardest thing for Nomi to do. The two had been through so much. They had fought side by side on Onderon against the Naddist cult, who worshipped the Sith Lord Freedon Nadd.

“I think we should travel to Ossus,” Rey said, “The Great Jedi Library stood there.”

Finn frowned. “It might have been destroyed. Most of Ossus was in the Cron Cluster shockwave. Maybe we should go to Onderon. Ulic and Nomi battled the Naddists there.”

Unable to reach a decision, the two of them located books about Ossus and Onderon, pouring through the text to determine their next move. Finn knew there was a reason those names had entered his mind, but he still didn't know what direction to follow.

* * *

 

Queen Leia of the Royal House of Organa paced around the sitting room attached to her chambers. Even though it had almost been three decades since she had seen her mother last, Leia could still her Queen Breha's admonishments in her head.

 _“A queen does not pace. A queen is still. It is unwise to allow others to see your frustrations or vulnerabilities_.”

However, Leia was very much alone and filled with an impatient energy that had coursed through her since she heard about the attempt on Poe Dameron's life. It was only due to the extreme circumstances that Leia had even entertained the notion of providing hospitality to the Jedi. In her middle years, she wanted as little to do with the Order as was possible. However, Poe's life was not something she took lightly.

Leia felt responsible for Poe. After all, it was during the Civil War to place House Organa back on the throne that Shara Bey Dameron lost her life. She lost a friend and valued warrior. Kes Dameron lost a wife. And Poe Dameron had lost his mother.

She knew all too well the pangs of losing a parent, and her heart broke for Poe. It was part of the reason she encouraged him to leave the Royal Navy and assume a leadership position as senator of Alderaan—a position he was more than qualified for. However, like all her plans, this one was foiled. Even as a senator, Poe's life was in danger. She felt as if she had failed Shara.

The doors to the room slid open and startled Leia from her thoughts.

Without even looking at the door, she quipped, “I hadn't realized it was appropriate to see a queen without first requesting an audience.”

An exasperated grunt sounded from the man who had just entered. “I will fight for you, Your Highness. I will even die for you. But I won't play politics.”

Leia grinned and finally turned around to face her visitor: an older man with roguishly handsome features. Specks of gray flecked his chestnut locks, and there were lines along his forehead as evidence of a stressful life. However, his nonchalant gait and rumpled wardrobe gave him a much younger appearance “If I recall, you’ve been playing politics for quite some time, Han.”

“Against my better wishes,” he grumbled, but he considered her with a faint trace of fondness on his face.

When they first met, he had been a smuggler whom she promised riches if he helped her cause by smuggling much-needed supplies for her ragtag rebellion. Throughout the war, Han Solo proved himself to be a talent pilot, a formidable warrior, and loyal friend. He and his Wookiee copilot, Chewbacca, had quickly risen to the highest honors and were now captains of her personal guard. She would entrust her life to no one else.

“There must be a reason you intruded on me?” probed Leia.

“I finished interrogating the prisoners.”

She raised an eyebrow. “And…? What explanations did they have for attacking a consular ship?”

He shrugged, reaching up to absently scratch at the stubble growing along his jaw. “That's the thing. They claimed it wasn't political. Said they had orders from a Dathomirian priestess.”

“So now there's a religious component to these attacks?”

Han took two large strides, standing in front of her. He lowered his voice, adopting a soothing huskiness, “Religion. Sorcery. It's something beyond us.” His expression darkened. “Speaking of sorcery….”

Leia sighed and shut her eyes to keep Han from seeing the vulnerability in them. “You know I don't like the Jedi Order anymore than you do, but Poe is in danger, Han. So if I have to work with them to keep him alive, I will bury the past and do it.”

“I'm sorry,” whispered Han, reaching out to Leia and embracing her. “I know this must be hard considering all the pain they've caused us. I might not be able to bury grudges for a greater cause, but you've always been stronger than me.”

Face buried in his chest, Leia smiled, trying to ignore the tight feeling in her chest. “I don't think I'd be half as strong without you.”

He traced random circles into her back and placed a kiss to the top of her head. “You were doing just fine before you met me.” Leia could hear the smile in his voice. “A queen if I remember?”

“A queen,” she agreed, “but a lonely one.”

Lightly, he nudged her from his chest and placed a finger under her chin to tip her head up. His eyes reminded her of the River Wuitho with its soft sheen in the afternoon sun and its murky depths after a harsh rain carried sediment into the clear waters.

“Let's remedy that, shall we?” he murmured, dipping his head to capture her lips in his.

* * *

 

In comparison to other places he had been, Finn realized the dungeons in the Royal Palace of Alderaan could hardly be considered dungeons. Despite being housed in underground corridors, the dungeons were spacious and clean, bereft of the cobwebs or slimy stone walls that defined most dungeons Finn had seen. He followed Rey past a long hall of empty cells, ignoring her angry mutters concerning Captain Han Solo of the Queen's Guard who had recently denied Rey entry to the dungeons.

Finn took a deep breath, hoping to steady the fluttery beat of his heart. They were so close to substantial answers. So close to something more than old Alderaanian stories and planets shrouded in mystery.

The cell that housed the three prisoners was at the end of the hallway. There were four stone alcoves in the cell to serve as beds, which reminded Finn of crew quarters in a ship. His stomach gave a tumble. He hated flying, and he hated the thought of it more than ever since what had occurred. Vaguely, he wondered if the incident was affecting Poe similarly. Was one of his favorite experiences, flying, now tainted for him?

In the cell, a human, an Arcona, and a Devaronian lounged in their beds, and Finn was angry to see that they looked almost bored. The human had fallen asleep, arms folded behind his head. The Arcona, with its triangular-shaped head and large yellow eyes, was staring at a random stone on the walls. And the Devaronian was twiddling his thumbs. Finn seethed at how complacent they were in the cell. All the pain and suffering they caused and incarceration was nothing but a moment of boredom to them.

“Taltek,” Rey addressed the prisoners by their names, nodding first to the Devaronian. “Reb.” The Arcona. “Itho.” The sleeping human.

Taltek was the only one to acknowledge them, an unctuous smile spreading on his sinister face. “You must be the Jedi. Tell us, how is the senator?”

Finn focused on breathing. Calmly, he said, “We'll ask the questions.”

“Had we known what kind of prize was on that ship, perhaps we would have boarded with more caution.”

Reb’s yellow eyes seemed to glow in the dark, and he nodded. He spoke with a very matter-of-fact tone. “Yes, we were unprepared. Clumsy. A shame.”

Finn noticed a red color tinting Rey's cheeks, an indication of her rising anger. To avoid any outbursts, Finn cleared his throat loudly. “What do you mean you didn't know anything going into the raid? Why else would you attack a consular ship?”

“Are you going to use your mind tricks on me, _Master Jedi_?” sneered Taltek. “Going to pick apart my head and force me to do your bidding?” He clucked his tongue. “Seems we aren't so different after all.”

“You're a monster!” snapped Rey.

“Monster?” Taltek's cackles echoed in the chamber, making it sound like a cacophony of jeers. “I provide a service. It's simple economics. Supply and demand. Nothing more and nothing less.”

“You strip people of their freedom,” Rey accused.

“Don't take the moral high ground with me, Jedi,” he sneered, “The history of the Order is written with the blood of those who suffered at the hands of Jedi. Across the galaxy, there are people who would rather suffer bondage than what you Jedi call ‘liberation.’”

“Is that why you attacked?” interrupted Finn, desperate to quell the rage in Rey's heart and even more desperate for any information to save Poe. “Because we were onboard?”

Taltek snorted and rolled over in his bunk, his back to them. “Don't flatter yourselves.”

Reb's gaze was intense. “It is as we have already said. We had orders.”

“Orders? From whom?”

“A Dathomirian priestess.”

* * *

 

Poe was bored. He hadn't been ordered bedrest in years. While the Senate was not known for its liveliness, Poe could at least say that sessions were usually more interesting than lying in bed, waiting to get better—which, in Poe's opinion, was a very subjective term anyway. Staying in bed would not fix his nightmares. It would not erase the trauma. He could not heal from this simply by resting.

He needed something to do. Ever since he was young, he had thrown himself into his duties—anything to distract him, so he would not have too face the pain. He repaired vehicles. He built and maintained BB-8. He drafted legislation. He didn't lay around.

It also didn't help that Finn had been absent all day. Even though Finn told him that he would be busy with research and hunting for answers, Poe hadn't expected that to last all day. Not to mention, Rey had taken breaks; she came in at one point to ask Jessika about future flight preparations, but offered no other explanation.

Was Finn avoiding him? Were he and Rey leaving? Poe had assumed that Finn would continue to guard him until the danger was quashed. Had assumed he would accompany Poe to his father's ranch. Had Finn changed his mind? Was Poe too broken, too much of a liability, for Finn to protect? Was he requesting a new assignment?

The questions continued to drive Poe mad, and he began voicing them aloud—much to BB-8's chagrin. The droid would hear nothing bad about Finn.

 _Friend Finn save Poe_ , the droid whirred and kept repeating, _Finn is friend. Finn is friend_.

“Fine,” surrendered Poe. “I'll go talk to him. Happy?”  
BB-8 nodded, trilling with approval.

With the tiny astromech as his lookout, Poe slipped out of bed and crept carefully out of the medbay. While his limbs appreciated being stretched out, his legs felt unsteady. Dr. Kalonia had warned Poe that the drugs would be slow in completely leaving his body, and the effects would be lingering considering Poe’s body had reacted aggressively to the intrusion in his system. With a few encouraging beeps from BB-8, Poe fought the wobbling feeling in his legs and pushed on.

He knew the palace like a second home. Queen Leia had always opened her home to him, and Poe had even lived in one of the quarters after graduating from the flight academy. He knew where the guest chambers were, but he doubted Finn was there. Instead, he suspected Finn was in the library, even felt a nagging pull in his body confirming his suspicions, so he slipped through the corridors, navigating as quickly as his sore and unsteady legs would allow him.

Night had already fallen on Alderaan, and the palace was a glow of soft blue lights that made Poe feel as if he was submerged in water. The feeling tickled his memory, and he felt like he was standing at the foot of the Cloudshape Falls, feeling the cool spray of the waterfalls. He felt like he had been transported to the Glarus Lagoons, and he remembered the picnics his mother would make for him near the blue waters and her gentle grip on his hand when she tried to teach him to swim, all the while pointing out to him the sea life around them. The dancing blue lights on the walls calmed him, and when Poe entered the library, there was a tranquil aura surrounding him.

Poe spotted Finn immediately. He was at a table piled high with books, and his nose was buried in a very large text. He must have felt Poe's presence because he slowly marked his place in the book and waited expectantly for Poe to join him, which he did.

“Are you okay?” asked Finn, no doubt noticing the stiff way Poe maneuvered himself onto the chair.

The calm from the oceanic lights left Poe, replaced by an aching in his body. He forced himself to smile. “Fine, buddy. Just wondered if you wanted any company?”

“You shouldn't have gotten out of bed,” said Finn softly. “Here, let me help….”

Poe scooted his chair closer, and Finn laid two fingers on each of Poe's temples, instructing Poe to close his eyes and breathe.

Poe obeyed. He felt a cool sensation trickle into his body as though he had stepped directly under one of the Cloudshape Falls. Shivering, Poe reveled in the feeling. It was soothing and rejuvenating.

His eyes fluttered open to meet Finn's intense gaze. “Thanks.”

“I’m sorry.” Finn gestured to the books. “I lost track of time.”

Poe caught glimpses of different book titles. Texts about Alderaanian politics and history. Texts about Dathomir and the Nightsisters. Texts about religious rituals across the galaxy. But he didn't want to press Finn with questions. Finn never badgered him with questions, for which Poe was thankful.

“It's not your fault,” said Poe, offering him a smile, “You're just trying to save my life.”

Finn shook his head. “It's more than that. Poe, I did something. Something reckless.”

Poe would have laughed if Finn didn't look so stoic. Since they had crashed into each other's lives, Poe had never known an instance where Finn wasn't weighing the risks of his decisions and then acting accordingly. “You? Reckless? Are you sure we're not talking about me?”

"Poe,” Finn said, carefully, “we're bonded.”

Poe's voice cracked, and his heart was pounding. “I thought you said Jedi couldn't form attachments.”

“I broke the rules,” admitted Finn, looking guilty, “I broke them for you. A-and, believe me, I would do it again, but it wasn't fair to you. You never had a say in it.”

Poe frowned. Did Finn think anyone had a say in whose soul they found in the galaxy? On who they bonded with? Did Finn think Poe had anymore say in the matter? Again and again, Poe had tried to quash his attraction to Finn. Finn was a Jedi, and it was forbidden. He'd tried convincing himself it was nothing but loneliness, but the way he trusted Finn was anything but a simple yearning for a deeper connection.

“I only did it to save you,” continued Finn. “Mirri, the priestess, said the bond would give you my strength. How could I not let her perform the ritual?”

Again, Poe felt confused, wondering what a Dathomirian priestess had to do with the way Poe felt about Finn. “Finn, what are you talking about?”

In a steady voice, Finn explained to Poe what had happened on the shuttle from the slaver ship to Alderaan. He explained the bonding ritual and how desperate he had been to keep Poe alive. He even explained the recent interrogation with the prisoners and the discovery that Mirri, the Dathomirian priestess, had made the call to raid the _Tantive IV_.

“I'm sorry,” Finn said again. His eyes were the color of a rainy autumnal day on Alderaan. The color of damp leaves along the muddy banks of the rivers. The color of nature decaying.

Pushing down his disappointment—how could he be so tactless to think Finn would abandon the tenants of the Jedi Code for him when he was just an assignment—Poe reached out with tentative fingers to grasp Finn's hand in his.

They were firm hands, yet gentle. Hands that had saved his life. Hands that had cared for him. Hands that had murdered. Poe didn't want to let go, and he was surprised that Finn didn't pull away.

“You are forgiven, Finn,” Poe said, “There is nothing to be forgiven, but if you need absolution, I will give it to you.”

“How can you? I betrayed your trust. Who knows if this ritual was part of some sinister plot?”

Poe had never seen Finn this troubled—even when discovering the Sith were somehow involved in this dangerous plot. “What happened in this ritual? What oath did you swear?”

As he recited the oath, Finn avoided Poe's eyes, “I give you my body for protection. Until all the stars in the galaxy die, it is yours.”

Poe's breath caught in his lungs. Those were the words Finn had spoken to him in his strange drug-addled dream. Those were the words his protector, his angel, had spoken. Those were the words that had promised Poe salvation.

Finn's head hung in defeat. “What can I do, Poe?”

For his entire life, Poe had always been able to find the right words to persuade his colleagues while giving a speech. But all the possible words dried up in his mouth. Instead, Poe closed the distance between himself and Finn, daringly laying his head on the Jedi's shoulder, his voice a breathy plea, “Protect me, Finn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to anyone who is still reading this. I apologize for the hiatus, but had a lot of money troubles and needed to prioritize work.
> 
> If anyone ever wants to chat, hit me up on tumblr: huttslut
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


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